CMBA Spring Blogathon, “Big Stars on the Small Screen,” Vincent Price in “The Brady Bunch”

In support of National Classic Movie Day on May 16th, the members of the Classic Movie Blog Association (CMBA) were asked to write on the topic of “big stars on the small screen.” I decided to write about one of my favorite big stars who appeared on many small screens over his impressive 60+ year career–Vincent Price. Price is best known for his horror films, such as The House on Haunted Hill (1959), Theatre of Blood (1973), and The Pit and the Pendulum (1961) to name just a few. He was also a known “foodie” and gourmet cook as well as a major art collector. Price’s love of acting and celebrity as an icon of horror films coincided nicely with his hobbies. Since obviously, he could pay for fancy food and artwork with the money earned from his acting.

Vincent Price shows Johnny Carson how to cook dinner in the dishwasher.

Vincent Price appeared on every type of television show under the sun. His voice made a very early television appearance in 1949 when he narrated a version of “The Christmas Carol.” In the 1950s, he appeared in numerous episodes of dramatic series, such as Robert Montgomery Presents and Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Price’s great voice and presence definitely lent itself well to drama, however, he was also adept at comedy. He had a great sense of camp and the absurd, I never got the sense that he took himself too seriously. In 1966, Price appeared in seven episodes of the cult classic television series, Batman, as the villain, Dr. Egghead. He also appeared in multiple episodes of Laugh-In as a guest performer. In 1975, Vincent Price made a memorable appearance on Johnny Carson where he taught Johnny how to cook an entire dinner in the dishwasher. I recommend watching this clip on You Tube, you won’t regret it.

::Cue the Tiki music::

However, it was in 1972 when Vincent Price made his greatest television appearance–Professor Whitehead in the second and third episodes of the classic 3-part Hawaii episodes in The Brady Bunch. In the first episode of the fourth season, “Hawaii Bound,” Mike is sent by his architecture firm to check on the status of a construction project. And because Mike’s boss, Mr. Phillips, is apparently the greatest boss ever, he allows Mike to take all six of his kids, his wife, and his housekeeper with him to Hawaii for vacation. When the Bradys arrive in Hawaii, it doesn’t take long for hijinks to ensue. While accompanying Mike to the construction site, Bobby finds a cursed Tiki idol. ::cue Tiki music:: (You know you hear it). Bobby, Peter and Greg later take the Tiki ::cue Tiki music:: to a local man, Mr. Hanalei, who tells the boys that the idol is cursed and brings bad luck to whomever has it in their possession.

The boys are skeptical about the superstition but begin to believe the legend when multiple members of the family have bad luck wearing the tiki ::cue Tiki music:: . Bobby sits on his ukulele and crushes it. Later, a heavy wall decoration almost crushes Bobby when Greg accidentally hits it when throwing a pillow. The next day, Alice is wearing the idol and throws her back out during a hula lesson. Then, Bobby inexplicably gives the tiki ::cue Tiki music:: to Greg to wear during the surfing contest he’s entered. During the contest, Greg is doing well, until he’s not. He wipes out and is nowhere to be seen.

Greg will regret surfing with the tiki idol ::Cue Tiki music::

Oh no! Is Greg dead? No of course not, this is The Brady Bunch! In the second episode of the arc, “Pass the Tabu,” Mike finds Greg and helps him to shore. He recovers, though presumably lost the surfing contest. The tiki ::cue Tiki music:: has fallen off Greg during his wipe-out. But never fear, it washes up on shore and Jan finds it. She places it into her bag. Later, while out sightseeing, a giant spider crawls into Jan’s bag. Jan returns the tiki ::cue Tiki music:: to Bobby. The spider also ends up in the boys’ room. At this point, Bobby is completely creeped out by the idol, convinced of its unluckiness. Peter puts the idol on and says “bad luck come and get me.” Right at that point, the giant spider has made its way out of Jan’s bag and onto Peter’s chest.

Deciding that they’ve had enough, the boys decide they need to return the tiki ::cue Tiki music::. The boys return to Mr. Hanalei to find out how to dispose of the idol and absolve themselves of its curse. Mr. Hanalei tells them that they’ll need to return it to the ancient burial ground where the idol was originally found. Greg, Peter and Bobby confide in Marcia, Jan, and Cindy about the idol and where they need to go. The next morning, they board a bus and head to the other side of Oahu. At this point, one has to wonder how much free reign the kids have on this vacation that they can literally get up and get on a bus and not expect their parents to wonder where they are, but I digress. That is not important, because it is at this point where we meet the Special Guest Star–Vincent Price!

Professor Whitehead (Vincent Price) interrogates the Brady boys about the idol.

Price is only featured briefly at the end of the second episode, but is fully featured in the third and final part of the Hawaii trilogy, “The Tiki Caves.” Price plays Professor Whitehead, a disgruntled archaeologist who was cheated out of recognition a few years prior after finding a major treasure in Egypt. When he happened upon this ancient burial cave in Hawaii, he was determined to not let that happen again. However, his paranoia has led to him becoming a bit eccentric, as well as lonely. His only companion is an oversized tiki statue whom he has named “Oliver.” When the Professor first hears the boys walking about, he stalks them and tries to scare them out of the cave, but to no avail. There’s a funny scene where the Professor puts on some feathers and a mask and pops out of a casket in front of the boys, which startles them and they take off running. However, they run further into the cave, not out.

Eventually the Professor catches up with Greg, Peter and Bobby and captures them. He ties them to tikis to try and force them into explaining why they’re in the ancient burial ground. The boys explain that they were only in the cave to return the tiki idol ::cue Tiki music:: . Professor Whitehead accuses them of finding a find he didn’t find. Throughout all of this discussion, he continues to confide in Oliver who seemingly offers him advice and consolation. Greg finally manages to wriggle free; but their escape is thwarted by Professor Whitehead and his spear.

Professor Whitehead and Oliver.

At this point, Mike and Carol have finally realized that their children are missing and have managed to coax the truth out of the girls. While they close in on the cave, Greg, Peter and Bobby have managed to convince Professor Whitehead to free them, so that they can show him where they found the idol. Obviously this is just a ruse, and the Professor figures it out when the boys obviously do not know their way around. He finally believes their story and says that he will tie them back up and escape with all the treasure he can, so that his claim isn’t usurped. Being the nice guy that he is, the Professor says he’ll send someone back for them. Before he can finish tying up the boys, Mike and Carol walk in, understandably upset that their children were kidnapped and held hostage. The tiki idol ::cue Tiki music:: is returned to the cave and all is well again.

Despite Professor Whitehead kidnapping their children, the Bradys proudly attend a luau held in Whitehead’s honor.

THEN. Mike tells Professor Whitehead that not only does he forgive Professor Whitehead for kidnapping and holding his children hostage, but all five of them will serve as witnesses and corroborate the Professor’s claim on all the treasure. And if that wasn’t enough, ALL the Bradys attend a luau being held in Professor Whitehead’s honor. Unbelievable. Mike really lives by his advice, “a wise man forgets his anger before he lies down to sleep.”

Vincent Price warns Greg that his apartment is haunted in The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.

However, this wasn’t the end for Vincent Price and the Bradys. In 1977, Price would make an appearance on what might be simultaneously the worst show and the greatest show I’ve ever seen–The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. In this episode, Greg (who has got to be in his early 20s at this point) decides that he needs to move out of the family home. The Brady Bunch’s house by the way is not their iconic home, it is this random house set constructed for the show. It is explained that Mike moved them closer to the beach after the family accepted the variety show offer. Yes. Anyway, Greg is trying to write a new song (unfortunately, it was not a reprise of his “clowns never laughed before, beanstalks never grew” song) and keeps being interrupted. He dramatically announces his intention to move and with the help of the Bradys’ neighbor, realtor Rip Taylor, Greg has a new pad.

Finally, I have an opportunity to post this image of Vincent Price from Theatre of Blood.

Unfortunately for Greg, his new apartment is really tacky and rundown. However, FORTUNATELY for Greg, one of his neighbors is none other than Vincent Price. It’s unclear whether Price is playing himself or playing a character named “Vincent Price,” but nonetheless he warns Greg about his apartment being haunted by the spirit of Kitty Sheehan. Despite the absurdity of The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, Vincent Price is awesome per usual. This only proves how great an actor and personality Vincent Price was. It doesn’t matter what the project is, whether it’s Shelby Carpenter in Laura, The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, providing the voiceover in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” playing Dr. Egghead in Batman, acting as The Inventor in Edward Scissorhands, Edward Lionheart in Theatre of Blood, or cooking fish in the dishwasher, Vincent Price is always worth watching.

Even Vincent Price can’t believe that he’s on this show.

TV Show Episode Blogathon- The Golden Girls, “Grab That Dough”

I love The Golden Girls. It’s one of my favorite shows. I’ve seen the entire run of the show many times. While I have the entire series on DVD, I watch it constantly on Hulu. I’ve watched it so many times in fact, my parrot loves the show and will fly to his perch closest to the TV to watch. For the record, his favorite character is Sophia. He makes a kissing noise when Estelle Getty’s credit comes on the screen.

“The Golden Girls” left to right: Rue McClanahan (Blanche), Bea Arthur (Dorothy), Estelle Getty (Sophia), and Betty White (Rose)

For those who inexplicably do not know the basic plot of The Golden Girls, it’s simple. Four women live together in Miami. The women are all in their “Golden Years” so to speak, and deal with issues related to romance, age, sex, employment, family, etc. Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan) owns a huge mid-century modern style home in Miami, and because this is the 80s, it is packed to the gills with wicker furniture. Blanche is a widow, having lost her husband George a few years prior. Blanche places an ad for roommates on the bulletin board at the local supermarket. While at the market, she meets Rose Nylund (Betty White), a widow who is looking for somewhere to live. Soon enough, Rose is renting a room at Blanche’s home. Later, divorcee Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) answers the ad, and nabs the remaining two bedrooms at Blanche’s home, one for herself and one for her mother, Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty).

Part of the humor of The Golden Girls are the differences and dynamics between the women. Blanche is a sex-crazed, vain, sometimes selfish Southern Belle. She works at the local art museum, which allows Blanche to pretend she’s a woman of culture, despite her membership in an unauthorized Elvis Presley Fan Club. Another member of the unauthorized Elvis Presley Fan Club is the dim, but good natured Rose. She is very naive, but very kind and a good friend. She hails from the small town of St. Olaf, Minnesota. Dorothy and her mother Sophia are from Brooklyn. Dorothy is a former member of the unauthorized Elvis Presley Fan Club, but was thrown out for making a joke about a half-eaten porkchop obviously being a fake. Sophia loves to regale everyone with stories of her hometown in Sicily, often starting her stories with “Picture It…”

The Grab That Dough stage
The real Angie Dickinson

Many of the best episodes of The Golden Girls are ones that take the girls out of the confines of their home. In the Season 3 episode, “Grab That Dough,” the girls take a red-eye flight to Hollywood after Sophia announces she’s gotten them a spot as contestants on a game show. The game show is called “Grab That Dough,” which despite how absurd it is, is apparently Dorothy’s favorite game show. The airline loses their luggage, causing the girls arrive at their hotel late and discover that their room has been given away. Blanche tries the “do you know who I am?” method, but it fails.

BLANCHE: “It so happens that I am Miss Angie Dickinson.”
NANCY: “You don’t look like Angie Dickinson to me.”
BLANCHE: “I know. I have altered my appearance for a very important movie role.”

Rue McClanahan as “Blanche Devereaux,” and Lucy Lee Flippin as “Nancy” the Front Desk Clerk.

Avid TV fans may recognize Nancy the Front Desk Clerk as Almanzo “Manly” Wilder’s sister, Eliza Jane in Little House on the Prairie. Anyway, after the girls pay Nancy $75 ($190 in 2023) for the pleasure of sleeping on the furniture in the lobby, they end having their purses stolen overnight. Fortunately, Sophia had the “Grab That Dough” tickets in her brassiere.

SOPHIA: “Dorothy, I’m in the ladies room, I look in my brassiere. What do you think I find?”
DOROTHY: “Hopefully what we all find when we look in our brassiere.”

Estelle Getty as “Sophia Petrillo” and Bea Arthur as “Dorothy Zbornak.”

The girls end up hoofing it dozens of blocks to the TV studio. They are star struck over host Guy Corbin and his assistant, Tiffany. Guy Corbin and Tiffany are very much in the same vein as Bob Barker and his “Barker’s Beauties” on The Price is Right. Anyway, right before they go on the air, Blanche comes up with a scheme. She decides that the girls would have better luck if they split up and joined forces with the other two contestants–The Kaplan Brothers. She suggests that she and Dorothy ditch “deadweight” Sophia and Rose. Blanche, Dorothy and one of the Kaplans will form one team, and Rose, Sophia and the other Kaplan will form the other.

Blanche beams as Guy Corbin reads her bio

“Grab That Dough” is soon rolling and it is instantly hilarious, starting with the introductions:

GUY CORBIN: “Our second contestant is an artist with an incredible body! She runs her own museum, speaks Chinese, and hopes to sail around the world before she turns 40. ::looks at front and back of note card:: Wow! That must be a typo! Welcome, Blanche Devereaux!

James MacKrell as “Guy Corbin.”

The questions are so mundane. I can’t believe that Dorothy, usually presented as an intellectual, would be so into this show. But who knows, maybe it’s a guilty pleasure of hers. Anyway, Blanche’s scheme backfires, and it turns out that the Kaplan brother on their team is a complete moron. At one point, Dorothy bans him from touching his buzzer. However, Blanche rescues the question segment of the show.

GUY CORBIN: “Complete this famous saying: ‘Better late than…’ Blanche?”
BLANCHE: “…pregnant!”
GUY CORBIN: “That is incorrect, but certainly not untrue!”

James MacKrell as “Guy Corbin” and Rue McClanahan as “Blanche Devereaux.”
Dorothy tries to “Grab That Dough”

Blanche and Dorothy are losing to Rose and Sophia miserably, until things turn around and Dorothy is given the opportunity to “grab that dough.” She is then given an apron and placed inside of a big tube which will blow money around. Dorothy is supposed to use her “meat hooks” (per Guy Corbin) to grab as much “dough” as she can. Personally, I would have just scooped up the money that fell on the bottom of the tube, but maybe that is against the rules–though “Grab That Dough” seems like a pretty fast and loose game. Dorothy easily grabs enough dough to propel her and Blanche into the lead.

GUY CORBIN: “Blue team. We don’t want you to go away empty handed. You have $400, that’s $100 a piece. And you have the home version of ‘Grab That Dough,’ which attaches to any vacuum cleaner.”

James MacKrell as “Guy Corbin.”

Blanche and Dorothy do not fare as well. Blanche gambles away their $900 cash for what’s in Window 3. After losing the new living room furniture in Window 1, and the new car in Window 2, they win an electric skillet from the Fry Quick Corporation. After some choice comments from Dorothy causes Guy Corbin to offer apologies to the Fry Quick Corporation, the girls end up winning a lifetime supply of soup to go with their electric skillet. The girls return home, happy that their trip is over.

This episode is very funny–the highlight of course being the game show. The best episodes of The Golden Girls also pit the girls against one another, which always seems to bring out the worst sides of their personalities. Blanche and Dorothy ditching Rose and Sophia would play out in another episode where the girls take part in a bowling competition. Between all the different sports they play/coach (bowling, baseball, football), the tutoring, charity work, etc. etc. is there anything the girls can’t do?

The Great Muppet Guest Star Caper– Florence Henderson

I love the Muppets. The Muppet Movie (1979) is hilarious. I love The Great Muppet Caper (1981). I maintain that The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) is the best version of the Charles Dickens tale ever committed to celluloid. However, I will admit ignorance when it comes to the actual Muppet television program. Growing up in the 90s and 00s, I don’t remember The Muppet Show ever being rerun on TV. Maybe it was and I just missed it. I don’t know. Apparently now it’s streaming on Disney+ but I’ve been too busy re-watching my favorite episodes of The Simpsons and haven’t watched it yet. I think the only part of The Muppet Show I am familiar with is the theme song.

“The Fake Jan” Geri Reischel, Florence Henderson, Robert Reed, and Christopher Knight in the amazing yet terrible yet awesome “The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.”

So with my unfamiliarity with The Muppet Show out of the bag, it should come as no surprise that I had no idea that Carol Brady, aka Florence Henderson, guest starred on the 1970s television program. One 1970s program that I DO know that Florence guest-starred on is The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (1976). Now THAT is truly something to behold. Besides Florence and Lynde, Margaret Hamilton (!), Billie Hayes (who I was unfamiliar with but apparently she was on H.R. Pufnstuf, a show that I have seen back in the early days of TVLand. I didn’t get it at all), Roz “Pinky Tuscadero” Kelly, Betty White (!), Billy Barty, Tim Conway (!), Donny and Marie, and… KISS! I watched this special for free on Amazon Prime a couple years ago and I can honestly say that I have never seen anything else like it. On the special, Florence sang “That Old Black Magic.” She is also one of the few cast members of The Brady Bunch Variety Hour (a show that is simultaneously the greatest and worst thing I have ever seen) who wasn’t completely out of their element and was good.

Here is Florence’s bad wig from season 1.

Florence Henderson is best known as Carol Brady, everyone’s favorite 70s TV mom, on The Brady Bunch (1969-1974). Usually in kid-oriented sitcoms, the parents are often lame at best. Or if they aren’t lame, they’re just…there. There to dispense wisdom. There to discipline. There to parent their kids but usually completely devoid of any type of interesting personality or shenanigans. However, The Brady Bunch is different. Yes, the show can be corny at times and maybe unrealistic, but I don’t care. I like it. The Brady Bunch has a charm about it that makes it infinitely re-watchable. One of the best aspects of The Brady Bunch, in my opinion, is that the parents, Mike and Carol Brady, both seem to have lives outside of their six kids. They even seem to ::gasp:: have a sex life, an aspect of their relationship lampooned to hilarious effect in The Brady Bunch Movie (1995). Florence made a cameo appearance in The Brady Bunch Movie as Carol Brady’s mother. No doubt Grandma Florence made for a hotter grandmother than she did when she played her own grandmother, Grandma Hutchins, in one of my least favorite episodes of the show, “You’re Never Too Old,” which aired in 1973.

In the first season of the show, Florence donned a poofy blonde bubble wig as her own hair had been cut very short. Prior to being cast on The Brady Bunch, Florence had chopped her hair very short to appear in a play. By season two, Florence’s hair had grown to an acceptable length and she could ditch the silly bubble wig. This is why Carol’s hair seems to change from a light almost peroxide blonde to a dark dishwater blonde. In the first season, Carol played more of a typical housewife and was submissive to Mike’s decisions. However, unlike many sitcom moms, Carol had to take on the task of getting six kids to get along–six kids who had just become step-siblings due to their respective parents’ recent marriage. Early episodes featured common themes like boys versus girls, such as the girls wanting their own clubhouse when the boys won’t share, or the girls and boys needing to learn how to cooperate and compromise when it comes to spending their trading stamps.

Carol and Mike had an actual romantic relationship outside of parenting their kids which I appreciated.

By season two however, the Carol Brady character really got rolling and frankly became much more interesting. While she was still a housewife (a plot point Florence Henderson hated, as she wanted Carol to be employed), Carol was presented as having hobbies and outside activities. Carol was part of the PTA. She was also part of an anti-smoking committee, which was briefly in jeopardy when a pack of cigarettes fell out of oldest son Greg’s jacket. Carol was at the helm of the “Save Woodland Park” committee, which was organized when it became known that the local park was at risk of being closed and developed into office space. Some of Carol’s hobbies include sculpting, embroidery, and writing. Her writing hobby culminated with her being asked to write an article about her family for Tomorrow’s Woman Magazine.

I wish I could find a screenshot of Carol’s hilarious face from “Getting Greg’s Goat,” but I couldn’t. This shot is from that episode. I also think Carol’s hair looked best in season 5 and I love her yellow dress with the teal beads.

One of my favorite aspects of Carol’s character was that she and Mike seemed to make time for romance, despite having six children. Carol regularly dons frilly nightgowns, a character trait that Florence herself requested. She wanted Carol to be sexy and fun. No long sleeved, high-necked flannel nightgowns for her. In another episode, Mike and Carol make plans for a romantic getaway. Carol comes up with different costumes to suit the ever-changing locale. She puts on a cute red and purple snowsuit when she thinks they’re going to a mountain cabin, then switches to a bikini when she thinks they’re going to the beach. Later, she trades the bikini in for a cowgirl outfit when they decide to go to a dude ranch. However, that all goes out the window when “Most Popular Girl” Jan announces that her acceptance speech is the same evening they’re supposed to leave for the weekend. I took all of Carol’s different costume ideas to mean that she likes to dress up for her husband. Carol and Mike also seem to love and respect one another and they’re both intelligent. I cannot tell you how tired I am of sitcoms with the dopey husband whom the wife has to baby like he was one of her children.

I always loved when The Brady Bunch had random dance scenes like when they do The Charleston, and in another episode they do a square dance. And let us not forget the potato sack race!

While “Carol” isn’t my favorite character on The Brady Bunch (that would be either Marcia or Greg), she definitely has some great moments on the series.

  1. Getting Greg’s Goat (October 19, 1973). Carol Brady’s funniest scene in the entire series is the look on her face when she catches Greg and “Raquel” the goat in her linen closet and then learns that Mike has known about the goat the entire time. She shoots daggers at Mike with her eyes then retreats to tend to the emergency PTA meeting being held at their home. The PTA is meeting to discuss the recent mascot stealing incidents between Westdale and Coolidge High. Raquel is Coolidge High’s mascot and guess who stole it? Oops.
  2. The Show Must Go On (November 3, 1972). Marcia has signed herself and her mother up to appear in the “Family Frolics Night” at Westdale High–much to Carol’s chagrin. But after some coaxing, Carol agrees. She and Marcia perform a delightful rendition of “Together, Wherever We Go” from Steven Sondheim’s score for Gypsy. Florence Henderson is in her element and Maureen McCormick (Marcia) holds her own.
  3. The Voice of Christmas (December 19, 1969). I’m not the biggest fan of many of the first season episodes, because the kids are just so young. A lot of their problems are just annoying. But there is no doubt that this episode is definitely among one of Carol’s (and Florence’s) best moments on the show. In the episode, Carol is tapped to sing at the family’s Christmas church service. However, a few days before her performance, she comes down with a case of laryngitis. Things are looking grim, until Cindy asks Santa to give her mom her voice back for Christmas. Yes, this episode is sappy to the nth degree, but what’s a good Christmas episode without a lot of sappy sentimentality? Spoiler Alert! Because this is The Brady Bunch, of course Carol gets her voice back and she’s able to perform a beautiful version of “O Come, All Ye Faithful.” Carol would repeat this performance (so to speak) in 1988 when she holds a vigil outside of a collapsed office building where Mike is trapped in A Very Brady Christmas TV Movie.
  4. The Fender Benders (March 10, 1972). Carol gets into a fender bender in the supermarket parking lot when she and Mr. Duggan (aka Uncle Fester aka Jackie Coogan) back into one another. They initially agree to fix their own vehicle and call it a day. However, Mr. Duggan decides to extort money from Mike and Carol and arrives at their home to request more money, stating that the damage was worse than he claimed. Then of course, Mr. Duggan makes some sexist statements about women drivers. Mike and Carol refuse to pay Mr. Duggan any more money. He announces his intention to sue. Of course, he shows up at the civil trial donning a neck brace. This episode features excellent Carol moments such as when she refutes Mr. Duggan’s claims that she’s frail.
  5. Never Too Young (October 5, 1973). Forget about the main “Bobby might have caught mumps from Mary Ingalls” storyline. The best part of this episode is when Carol and Mike sing “I Wanna Be Loved By You” for their upcoming 1920s party and later, the family practices The Charleston in the living room, complete with fringed flapper gowns, full length bearskin coat on Mike, long necklaces, headbands, and all that other razzmatazz. Let me tell you, when The Brady Bunch commit to something, they do not screw around. Case in point, the dunking booth that Mike supposedly built for the upcoming school carnival. The entire cast, especially Florence, look like they’re having so much fun dancing.

Honorable Mention: In What Goes Up? (December 11, 1970), Florence calls Peter, “Chris.” Peter is played by Christopher Knight. I always thought that was funny. Barry Williams aka Greg, follows up Florence’s gaffe by calling Jan “Eve” aka Eve Plumb, Jan’s portrayer’s real name.

I love The Brady Bunch. I love Florence. I was honestly very sad when she passed away on Thanksgiving in 2016. It felt like I’d lost my own family member. In fact, after she passed, I went back to my house (I was staying at my parents’ house for the holiday) to retrieve my Brady Bunch DVDs so I could honor Florence’s memory. And that was how I discovered that my basement had flooded. Initially I wasn’t planning on going to my house after getting off work. Without needing to get my Brady Bunch DVDs, my basement could have been flooding for days.

It would be very remiss of me if I neglected to mention Florence Henderson’s iconic Carol Brady shag haircut. It’s very 1970s, but I don’t think it’s her worst look. The bleached blonde bubble wig wins that award.

Discovering Classic Cinema Blogathon– How Nick at Nite, I Love Lucy and Lucille Ball Brought Me to Classic Film

I ‘m coming in hot with a last minute entry for Classic Film and TV Corner’s “Discovering Classic Cinema Blogathon.” I actually saw this blogathon announced awhile back and forgot to enter it. Oops. This is also my first opportunity to type something substantial using my new laptop that my husband got me for Christmas! Woohoo. My introduction to classic film didn’t come via the usual routes. I’m not old enough to have seen any of these movies in the theater during their original run. The first movie I saw in the theater was Disney’s The Little Mermaid at the age of 5 in 1989. Apparently I saw a re-release of The Aristocats in 1987 when I was 3, but according to my mom it did not go well and I did not see the whole movie. Lol. I traumatized my parents enough that it was 2 years before I went back. Having grown up in Salem, OR during the mid-to-late 80s through the early 00s, there wasn’t really any opportunity to see the classics in repertory theaters, as Salem doesn’t have any. While I did watch the annual TV viewings of The Wizard of Oz, and had secretly seen Psycho and The Birds despite my mom not wanting my sister and I to see them (my dad rented them while she was out of town), these did not ignite my love of classic cinema.

I miss 90s Nick at Nite!

One evening in 1994, 10-year old me was flipping channels and came across Nickelodeon’s evening programming, something called “Nick-at-Nite.” For the record, 90s Nick-at-Nite was one of the greatest things ever and I really wish it would come back, but I digress. Anyway, I was instantly sucked in by the colorful graphics, catchy jingles and fun animation that once graced the evening Nickelodeon block. A voiceover came on screen and announced that a show called I Love Lucy was coming up on the schedule. I honestly do not recall if I’d ever seen or heard of I Love Lucy prior to this moment, but I do know that it was not something I watched regularly. The now-familiar I Love Lucy theme song started, the hearts on satin appeared with the cast’s names: Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, and William Frawley. I still remember the first episode I saw, “L.A. at Last!” with William Holden guest starring. At that moment, I had no idea who the cast members were, let alone William Holden.

I was instantly transfixed by Lucy’s antics. In “L.A. at Last!,” Lucy decides that she and the Mertzes need to find the “celebrity watering hole,” where the stars all gather at the same place, thus saving Lucy time in having to track them down one-by-one. Bobby the Bellboy suggests that the group visit Hollywood’s famed Brown Derby restaurant–a well known hotspot for celebrities. As an aside, I will forever be sad that I cannot go to the Brown Derby, nor can I go to 99% of the famous Hollywood nightclubs of the 30s-50s. No Ciro’s or The Mocambo for me. Anyway, while at the Brown Derby, Lucy, Ethel and Fred are spotting celebrities left and right. We hear multiple celebrities paged to the telephone: Cary Grant, Gregory Peck, Walter Pidgeon, Ava Gardner. Lucy and the Mertzes see each and every one of them (offscreen) get up for the phone. Ethel also manages to offend Eve Arden in the neighboring booth by asking her to identify a caricature of herself as either Judy Holliday or Shelley Winters. Lucy for her part, is in awe of Ethel. “You touched her!” Lucy says, much to Ethel’s dismay at her faux pas.

The greatest day of Nick at Nite’s annual Block Party Summer.

Then, big star William Holden sits down in the booth next to Lucy and the Mertzes. Ethel is immediately starstruck and gets Lucy’s attention. Lucy catches a glimpse of Holden in the booth and is swooning. Being the creeper that she is, Lucy can’t stop staring at Holden, making him very uncomfortable in the process. Lucy’s encounter with Holden at the Brown Derby culminates with her tripping the waiter and causing him to dump a cream pie all over Holden’s head. Later, Holden meets Ricky at MGM and offers to give him a ride home to his Beverly Palms Hotel suite. When Ricky tells Lucy he’s brought a big star home with him, Lucy is overjoyed, until Ricky reveals the big star’s identity. Frantic, Lucy puts on a ridiculous disguise which includes large black cat eye glasses, a scarf to hide her hair, and a big putty nose. The scene that follows is hands down the funniest moment of the entire series (in my opinion). The look on William Holden and Desi Arnaz’ faces when Lucy turns around after “fixing” her putty nose is hysterical. How lucky was I to have this be the first episode of I Love Lucy that I ever saw?

I was hooked on I Love Lucy from then on, watching it at 8:00pm every night–except on Saturdays, I Love Lucy started at 10:00pm. On “Whole Lotta Lucy” Saturdays, Nick-at-Nite showed two episodes of I Love Lucy, followed by an episode of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour. Every episode of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour featured a different guest star. With the exception of Fred MacMurray, I didn’t know who any of the guest stars were. I also knew very few of the I Love Lucy guest stars, with the exception of John Wayne, Orson Welles, and Bob Hope. As a kid, I always figured that these were people who “were famous at the time.” Lol.

The look on William Holden’s face when Lucy turns around after “fixing” her nose is the funniest scene in the entire series.

Anyway, my family and I were also avid library goers, spending approximately one Sunday afternoon a month perusing the stacks. Now fully obsessed with I Love Lucy and Lucille Ball, I checked out each and every book about her in the library. I read multiple biographies about her, Desi, Vivian Vance, and anything I Love Lucy-adjacent. From these books, I learned that Lucille Ball had a fairly extensive film career and discovered that my library had a large selection of “The Lucille Ball Signature Collection” VHS movies. I watched each and every one. At the same time, my parents’ cable package had just acquired a new channel, the recently launched TCM. Every Sunday, I would find the new TV guide supplement in the newspaper and comb through it, looking to see if any Lucille Ball films or documentaries were scheduled that week. I’d always check PBS, A&E’s Biography program, TCM and AMC (when it showed old films).

From Lucille Ball’s film career, I was introduced to a myriad of different stars who quickly became favorites of mine. Through Lucy’s film, DuBarry Was a Lady, I learned about Gene Kelly. Because of my interest in Gene, I watched Singin’ in the Rain and The Pirate. ‘Rain’ introduced me to Debbie Reynolds and ‘Pirate’ introduced me to Judy Garland, who I was aware of through The Wizard of Oz, but hadn’t seen her in anything else prior. Through Judy, I learned about Fred Astaire (Easter Parade), which led me to Ginger Rogers. Rogers I’d seen before as she’d appeared with Lucy and Katharine Hepburn in Stage Door, which I’d borrowed from the library. From Stage Door, I recognized Eve Arden from the episode of I Love Lucy I’d seen. I continued on this path of constant discoveries and am still on the path somewhat, except that I’m more familiar with all the actors and know that the ones who appeared as guest stars on I Love Lucy weren’t just people who were famous at the time of I Love Lucy’s production era.

Cornel Wilde is no longer known as “Cornel Wilde is in the penthouse!” (I Love Lucy, “The Star Upstairs”). He’s a co-star in the excellent Leave Her to Heaven with Gene Tierney and he’s great in The Big Combo, his film being promoted on his episode of I Love Lucy. Charles Boyer isn’t just “LUCY! I love you, rawrrrrr” ((I Love Lucy, “Lucy Meets Charles Boyer”). He’s Ingrid Bergman’s terrifying husband in Gaslight, or the man who woos Olivia de Havilland in Hold Back the Dawn. Boyer is the man who arranges to meet Irene Dunne at the top of the Empire State Building in Love Affair. Unbelievably, I also didn’t know anything that William Holden did aside from being hilarious in I Love Lucy. I finally saw him in Sunset Boulevard and was blown away. After having seen him in so many films now, I can definitely say that Holden was a bona fide superstar.

CORNEL WILDE IS IN THE PENTHOUSE! CORNEL WILDE!

From reading all the library books about Lucille Ball and her film career, I learned that she made it a point to hire her friends from the movies when she had an opportunity to do so. The film friend of hers who benefitted the most from this is of course, William Frawley, who is now a legend in his own right for playing the irascible Fred Mertz on I Love Lucy. Having seen a good amount of classic films now, Frawley is everywhere. He plays Errol Flynn’s boxing promoter, Billy Delaney, in Gentleman Jim. He also plays a cop in Flynn’s Footsteps in the Dark, and Deanna Durbin’s Lady on a Train. He is also in the perennial Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th Street. Frawley had called up Lucy’s husband and Desilu Production president, Desi Arnaz, and asked for the job of Fred Mertz. CBS was hesitant to take a risk on the alcoholic Frawley, but Lucy and Desi prevailed and Frawley is now a television legend.

I find myself pointing out I Love Lucy characters in various classic films. Elizabeth Patterson who played Mrs. Trumbull is everywhere in classic film. She makes a memorable appearance as Fred MacMurray’s Aunt Emma in Remember the Night. Charles Lane is another character who pops up everywhere He appears as Lucy’s typing instructor in Miss Grant Takes Richmond (also co-starring William Holden). He also appears in uncredited roles in a million excellent pre-code films such as: Blonde Crazy, Employees’ Entrance, 42nd Street, Golddiggers of 1933, She Had to Say Yes, and Blondie Johnson. He made multiple appearances in I Love Lucy: the expectant father (I always say “nine girls” when I see him in a movie), the passport office clerk, the man conducting auditions in the episode where Lucy has to tell the truth for 24 hours, and he plays the Ricardos business manager, Mr. Hickox. Allen Jenkins, has a memorable role in an episode of I Love Lucy playing a police officer who apprehends “Sticky Fingers Sal” and “Pickpocket Pearl” (Lucy and Ethel). Jenkins was almost a mainstay in Warner Brothers films, playing the sidekick to the male lead. He’s in Dive Bomber, Footsteps in the Dark, The Perfect Specimen, all with Errol Flynn. He also supports Humphrey Bogart in Dead End, Racket Busters, and the horribly named The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse. I even spotted Mr. Martinelli, owner of the pizza restaurant where Lucy works for one episode, as the villain in Marked Woman with Bogart and Bette Davis!

To this day, I Love Lucy and Lucille Ball are still my favorites. I also love Classic Film and I just love how well my favorite television show and my favorite era of filmmaking are so closely intertwined.

This single photo still from Stage Door captures my intertwined love of classic film and I Love Lucy. Lucille Ball, center, is flanked by Katharine Hepburn on the left and Ginger Rogers on the right.

The Fake Teenager Festivus- Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990-2000)

32 years ago, on October 4, 1990, one of the all-time best teen soaps, Beverly Hills, 90210, premiered on the then-newish Fox network. However, during its first season, ‘90210’ (as it became known), was not originally intended to be a soap. The first season focused on the Walsh twins, Brandon (Jason Priestley) and Brenda (Shannen Doherty) and their culture shock moving from Minneapolis, Minnesota to the affluent Beverly Hills, California zip code. Obviously, the Walsh parents Jim (James Eckhouse) and Cindy (Carol Potter), weren’t doing too shabby themselves if they could afford a home in Beverly Hills. However, it it established that in Beverly Hills, there’s well-off like the Walshes, and there’s really well-off, like all of Brandon and Brenda’s classmates who also attend West Beverly Hills High School.

The original cast of “Beverly Hills, 90210.”

Right off the bat watching season 1 of Beverly Hills, 90210, it’s obvious that the “kids” in this show are not kids. When I watched this show when it was new, I didn’t really notice how old the teenagers looked. However, that’s probably because I was in elementary school when the show started. I recently re-watched the first three seasons (haven’t gotten further than that yet, but I might start it up again!) after Luke Perry’s tragic passing (RIP Dylan!) and it is so obvious that these people are NOT in high school. Some of the actors are a little more believable than others. In 1990, Priestley was 21, Doherty was 19, Jennie Garth was 18, Tori Spelling and Brian Austin Green were 17…then the heavy hitters, Ian Ziering was 26, Luke Perry was 24, and Gabrielle Carteris was 29 (!). The teenage characters, save for David, were supposed to be 16 and juniors in high school. David is established as being a year younger, but would skip a grade in season 3 and graduate with his friends. In season 2, the characters repeat their junior year, presumably to keep the high school years rolling a little bit longer.

However, I choose to justify their age discrepancies by focusing on how much each character endured during their time on the series. Anyone would look haggard after all that they went through.

Brandon Walsh is all around a nice guy. But he can also be a self-righteous, judgemental prick. He is not without his flaws however. He becomes acquainted with bad girl Emily Valentine who introduces him to U4EA at a rave. U4EA is a 90210-term for ecstasy. Brandon gets high and ends up needing to have Dylan take him home. Later Brandon gets in deep with a bookie after losing numerous sports bets and he goes through many many girlfriends, eventually ending up in a love triangle with Dylan and Kelly. Unlike his friends, Brandon works at the Peach Pit in order to have pocket money.

Iconic credits sequence after the season 2 re-branding.

Brandon’s sister Brenda doesn’t have it as easy as Brandon. It’s established that she cannot pass her driver’s test to save her life, so she has to rely on rides from her brother and friends. Brenda is in a very tumultuous on-off-on-off again relationship with Dylan. Her father, Jim, thinks that Dylan is a bad influence and tries everything in his power to keep them apart. Everything he does is in vain however, and eventually Brenda ends up stuck in Mexico after sneaking away to meet Dylan in Baja and forgetting her ID. For the record, Brenda lies to Dylan about having permission to be in Baja. He was going on his own whether she was there or not. Brenda ends up breaking up with Dylan at the end of season 2 because their relationship is moving too quickly for her. During season 3’s “Summer of Deception,” Brenda ends up hooking up with Rick (Dean Cain) in Paris, while pretending to be Frenchwoman, “Brenda DuBois.” Meanwhile, Dylan and Kelly spend the summer canoodling at the beach club. This entire thing comes to a head in the greatest moment of the entire series when Brenda and Rick run into Dylan and Kelly at the same restaurant. Other events that happen to Brenda include becoming enamored by her cardio funk instructor, pretending to be “La-voyne” the waitress at the Peach Pit, being robbed at gunpoint one evening while working at the Peach Pit and going through a breast cancer scare.

Brenda quickly befriends Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth), one of the most popular girls in school. However, it is also established that she gained some of her popularity by sleeping around. Kelly does try to reclaim her reputation and improve it by being a little more selective, with varying degrees of success. Poor Kelly goes through a lot during her ten years on the show. At the beginning of the series, Kelly is presented as being promiscuous. It is later revealed that she was taken advantage of by a classmate and she is nearly raped again at the Halloween party when she was struggling with her self-esteem. She is the ex-girlfriend of Steve Sanders and childhood classmate of Dylan McKay, whom she memorably becomes involved with during the “Summer of Deception.” Kelly’s mother, Jackie, is an ex-model and also an alcoholic and cocaine addict. Her father is MIA. During the series, Kelly struggles with an eating disorder, joining a cult, being burned in a fire, becoming a cocaine addict, being raped and shooting her rapist in self-defense, having amnesia, and suffering a miscarriage. Kelly, Donna and David would eventually all live together in a sweet condo on the beach.

The amazing “Donna Martin Graduates” sequence from season 3.

Kelly’s best friend throughout the series is Donna Martin (Tori Spelling) who is also popular but is religious and very set on staying a virgin, much to her longtime boyfriend, David Silver’s (Brian Austin Green), frustration. David’s frustration will lead to him losing his virginity to a woman in the back seat of Babyface’s limo, which hurts Donna. The “Will They or Won’t They?” storyline of David and Donna gets pretty annoying, but eventually in season seven (I think), they seal the deal–I’m sure much to the chagrin of Donna’s shrewish mother, Felice. Donna also faces the drama of being drunk at the senior prom (David’s dad having given the kids champagne before hand) and risks not being allowed to graduate. This event begins one of the greatest moments of the series, with “DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!” being chanted again and again by students protesting Donna’s expulsion from school. Donna would have her share of troubles including being on/off again with David, being in an abusive relationship, and attempted rape.

Donna’s boyfriend David, started out as the dorky younger classmate who had a crush on Donna. He constantly tried to prove himself to her and her friends, eventually earning an “in” into the group. His friend, Scott Scanlon, suddenly didn’t fit in. Making matters worse was Scott accidentally shooting and killing himself at his birthday party. David felt guilty, but Scott was soon never mentioned again. Eventually, David’s dad and Kelly’s mom married each other and had a child. Throughout all of this, David desperately wanted to become a rapper, even joining Steve Sanders Management Group for representation. After only a few gigs at the beach club and a failed record deal, David presumably dropped Steve as his manager. Later, I seem to recall him managing some sort of club and he has a hit song at some point. David and Donna would also run the West Bev DJ booth during their time in high school. Also at one point, David becomes addicted to meth and is only saved from jail time by Dylan who forces him to flush his stash down the toilet.

Speaking of Dylan McKay (Luke Perry), while he is popular, he is also very mysterious and also somewhat of a loner. Dylan’s mother abandoned him and his father and lives in Hawaii. Dylan’s father, Jack McKay (who fakes his death in season 3), is always involved in various illegal activities and is scarcely to be found for the first two and a half seasons. On Dylan and Brenda’s first date, Dylan has an altercation with his father which culminates with Dylan having an emotional breakdown on the sidewalk and breaking a flower pot. He mostly lives by himself at the BelAge Hotel. Dylan’s father did at least leave him with a good nest egg to live off of, as Dylan doesn’t work, drives a sweet Porsche, and can afford the hotel bills at the luxury hotel. Later Dylan would move into a sweet bungalow. Who wouldn’t want a high school boyfriend who lives alone in his own home?

A screenshot from the greatest moment in the entire 10-year run of the series: When Dylan and Kelly run into Brenda and Rick at the restaurant. If only I could find a photo of Brenda’s face in this moment.

Luke Perry is lampooned often for his forehead wrinkles, but I would justify it by saying that Dylan lived a rough life. His father faked his own death. Dylan is also an alcoholic and later has a drug addiction. Then, he is fleeced out of his fortune by his half-sister’s mother and her fiance. Dylan then hires a hitman to avenge his father’s death, but falls in love with Toni, the daughter of his father’s killer. However, Toni’s father hates Dylan, and arranges to have him killed by shooting him when he gets into his car. However, Toni gets into the car instead and is killed in a hail of gunfire. My point is, leave this man and his forehead wrinkles alone, he’s been through a lot. Plus, he’s hot so who cares?

Another part of the gang is Steve Sanders (Ian Ziering) another friend of Brandon’s and former ex-boyfriend to Kelly. He is the Zach Morris of West Bev, always trying to make a quick buck, always trying to scam people. He is a jock and part of the in-crowd but is a bit of a jokester, a ladies man, and drives a Corvette. His big storyline at the beginning of the series is that he was adopted and desperately wants to find his birth parents–even going on a Christmas pilgrimage to New Mexico to find them. His adopted mother, Samantha Sanders, is a famous television actress who is never home for her son. Steve is always falling short due to his own bad decisions and then always has to scramble to try and make things right. He barely graduates after having been expelled for using the school computers to change his grades. Not all hope is lost for Steve however, he eventually turns it around, even having a steady girlfriend (and I think later, wife?) named Janet.

Andrea Zuckerman. Student or Teacher? The constant charade of having to pretend you live in Beverly Hills and not Van Nuys would age anyone.

Finally, there’s Andrea (pronounced Awn-dree-a) (Gabrielle Carteris) who looks like everyone’s teacher, not classmate. Frankly, this girl is always stressed because she desperately wants to attend Yale–her entire high school slate of activities revolves around formulating the perfect resume to get into Yale. She’s also the editor of the West Beverly Blaze newspaper, a project she puts her entire heart and soul into, as if she were running the Washington Post! She is also hopelessly in love with Brandon, despite him only seeing her as a friend. She even goes as far as offering herself as a gift to him when she thinks he’s moving back to Minnesota. Later at their senior prom, Brandon and Andrea find themselves alone together in a hotel room–only to decide to remain friends. And if all of this isn’t enough, Andrea is later a victim of a hit and run accident! Eventually, Andrea gives up her dream of going to Yale University and instead attends California University. It must be a huge blow to your ego to end up at the same college as Steve Sanders–the person who was almost expelled from West Bev for changing his grades on the school computer. Andrea eventually ends up pregnant during college and moves away. All of this drama, plus having to hide the fact that she really lives in Van Nuys, no wonder Andrea looks like she’s almost 30.

Regardless of how “old” everyone looks, this is still one of my favorite night-time soaps. I used to watch this show with my parents every Wednesday night, along with Party of Five. I also watched Melrose Place, the 90210-spinoff, that aired on Monday nights. 90210 definitely wore out its welcome and probably should have been canceled long before season 10, when barely any of the original characters were on the show; but it was still fun to watch. What ridiculous thing could possibly happen this week? They don’t make shows like this anymore.

Be still my heart! RIP Luke Perry!!

Favorite TV Show Episode Blogathon- “Rhoda the Beautiful,” The Mary Tyler Moore Show

I love Mary Tyler Moore and her self-titled, groundbreaking sitcom, The Mary Tyler Moore Show (TMTMS). It is my second favorite show after I Love Lucy. TMTMS is one of the best written sitcoms of all times. Usually shows with such large ensemble casts have at least 1-2 characters that are kind of lame, or irritating, or what have you. However, TMTMS is so well-written, so well-cast, that every character in the show is worthwhile. Every character is important. Even scenes not involving Mary Richards (Moore), the central character in the series, are worth watching. One of the best parts of TMTMS in my opinion, is the friendship between Mary and Rhoda Morgenstern (Valerie Harper).

Mary and Rhoda in “Today, I am a Ma’am.”

Mary and Rhoda are such opposites personality-wise, that they don’t even seem like they should be acquaintances, let alone friends. In the 1970 pilot episode, “Love is All Around,” Rhoda is first introduced to viewers as a potential enemy of Mary Richards. Throughout the entire episode, Rhoda is contentious towards Mary, as she thinks that Mary has usurped her apartment. Thankfully, by the second episode, the writing staff had given up on the idea of Mary and Rhoda being enemies. Rhoda’s character was changed into being Mary’s new neighbor and new friend.

It is in the second episode, “Today I am a Ma’am” where we are first introduced to Rhoda’s self image issues. After Mary is called a “ma’am” in the office, she begins to feel self-conscious about being 30. Both Rhoda and Mary begin to commiserate with one another about being 30 and still being single. To make themselves feel better, Rhoda suggests that she and Mary invite someone over to the house for a small gathering. Mary invites over the suffocating Howard Arnell. Rhoda takes a different approach and invites over Armond Linton, a man she ran over with her car. When the guests show up, we’re treated to a classic Rhoda line:

RHODA (to MARY): “How can you gorge yourself and stay so skinny? I’m hungry and I can’t stand it.”

MARY: “Why don’t you eat something?”

RHODA: “I can’t. I’ve got to lose 10 pounds by 8:30.”

Valerie Harper as Rhoda Morgenstern and Mary Tyler Moore as Mary Richards in “Today, I am a Ma’am” in The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970).

Throughout the rest of the first season and all of the second, Rhoda continues to be self-deprecating about her body and general attractiveness. Many of Rhoda’s lines allude to her being envious towards the tall, svelte Mary Richards. For the record, while Mary is very pretty and definitely has a good figure, there was absolutely nothing wrong with Rhoda’s appearance. Rhoda is a very beautiful woman. Thankfully, in the season three episode, “Rhoda the Beautiful,” Rhoda finally accepts the fact that she is an attractive woman.

Mary helps Rhoda see how great her new figure looks.

“Rhoda the Beautiful” opens as many episodes do, with Rhoda walking into Mary’s apartment while Mary is doing some sort of household task. In this particular episode, Mary is washing dishes. She wonders aloud whether a pot that was only used to boil water needs to be washed. Rhoda, in her usual style says that she only uses paper pots. Rhoda announces to Mary that she learned that during her recent “Calorie Cutters” meeting, she had successfully met her 20-lb weight loss goal. Mary is ecstatic for Rhoda, but Rhoda in her usual self-deprecating way, won’t accept Mary’s compliments. Mary is frustrated that Rhoda will not allow herself to be happy and proud of herself for meeting her goal. To further compound Rhoda’s frustrations about her appearance, even her frenemy, Phyllis (Cloris Leachman), says that Rhoda looks fantastic. And Phyllis is being genuine.

Rhoda’s headshot for the Ms. Hempel Beauty Pageant.

In the second act, Rhoda visits her Calorie Cutter colleague, Murray (Gavin McLeod) for a healthy lunch. Murray compliments Rhoda and says she looks great. Rhoda reveals to Mary and Murray1 that she has entered the employees-only Ms. Hempel Beauty Pageant. Per usual, Mary and Murray are very supportive of Rhoda and are excited that she’s taking this chance. As an aside, I love how seamlessly the writers were able to integrate Mary’s home life (Rhoda and Phyllis) into Mary’s work life (Lou, Ted, and Murray). It is logical that Mary’s friends and co-workers would interact at Mary’s various infamously bad parties and become friends. Rhoda fits in perfectly with the WJM gang, even with Ted who thinks she’s Israeli and named Rita.

Murray and Rhoda compare their weight loss “maintenance” lunches

The third act opens with Rhoda, Mary and Phyllis trying to help Rhoda find a dress to wear in the pageant. We get to hear Rhoda express another semi-envious sentiment about Mary’s figure when she rebuffs Mary, who is offering her wardrobe. “Mary, you weigh three pounds,” Rhoda says. We also get to watch and listen to Phyllis deliver a hilarious rendition of “Ten Cents a Dance” while wearing an “endangered” Orlon coat. Mary and Rhoda are wandering in the background, looking for a dress for Rhoda. In one of my favorite parts, Mary and Rhoda imitate the contestant interviews during the Miss America pageant. Mary recalls the contestants always having a multi-part name. She re-christens Rhoda as “Miss Mary Jo Beth Ann Lou” and asks her some probing questions:

MARY (to RHODA aka MISS MARY JO BETH ANN LOU): “What are some of your favorite hobbies?”

RHODA (affecting a demure, beauty pageant contestant voice): “My favorite hobbies are cheerleading, liking people, and living in America.”

MARY: “And, uh, what…is your goal…in life?”

RHODA: “After I graduate from high school, I would like to become a brain surgeon… or a model!”

Mary Tyler Moore as Mary Richards and Valerie Harper as Rhoda Morgenstern in “Rhoda in the Beautiful,” in The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1972).

At the end of the third act, we see the dress that Rhoda finally settled on. Rhoda wears a black halter dress with a white scarf that drapes across her back. She looks fantastic. As an aside, Valerie Harper wore this same dress to accept her Emmy Award in 1971 and she looks fabulous there too. Rhoda announces to Mary and Phyllis that she placed a respectable third place. Mary and Phyllis congratulate her and the episode seems to come to an end. However, as Rhoda leaves, she somewhat lingers. Mary probes and Rhoda announces that she actually won the contest. This next moment is what I think is the most important part of the episode and is the catalyst for Rhoda’s character development. This is the moment when Rhoda finally accepts that she is an attractive woman. She no longer has the weight issue that she can hide behind and blame for her own perceived shortcomings.

RHODA (to MARY): “I sort of heard my name called, and uh… they were all applauding…for me. I couldn’t believe it.”

MARY: “Oh Rhoda. That’s so great.”

RHODA: “Me.”

MARY: “And you deserved it.”

RHODA: “Well… they gave it to me, and I, uh, took it. So I guess I really won it. How do you like that? I won! After 32 years! Me! Mary Jo Beth Lou Ann Morgenstern!”

Valerie Harper as Rhoda Morgenstern and Mary Tyler Moore as Mary Richards in “Rhoda the Beautiful,” The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1972).

This is such an amazing moment. Then we see Rhoda in her full pageant winner regalia, crown, cape, scepter and all. She looks silly but gorgeous. Phyllis, of course still doesn’t know the truth about Rhoda’s win:

PHYLLIS (looking at Rhoda’s crown and cape): “Boy, they sure make a big fuss over third place.”

RHODA: “I won, Cookie!”

Cloris Leachman as Phyllis Lindstrom and Valerie Harper as Rhoda Morgenstern in “Rhoda the Beautiful” Mary Tyler Moore Show (1972).

1 One thing I have always wondered about this show: Why did they give so many characters similar sounding names? This show has a Mary, Murray and Marie!

Lucy and Desi (2022)

I lived and died by I Love Lucy on Nick at Nite’s Block Party Summer in the 90s.

It’s no secret on my blog that I love Lucy. I love Desi too. I discovered Lucy and Desi in 1994 or 1995, when I was 10 or 11 years old. One evening, I stumbled upon I Love Lucy on Nick at Nite and was hooked. From then on, I had to watch “my show.” I made sure to have my homework done by 8pm, so I could watch ‘Lucy.’ On Saturdays, at 10pm, I watched Nick at Nite’s “Whole Lotta Lucy Saturday” with 2(!) episodes of I Love Lucy and The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour. Nick at Nite’s “Block Party Summer” was even more exciting, because I Love Lucy always got a day–4 whole hours of I Love Lucy!

Growing up, my family also went to the library every month. I started checking out books about Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, I Love Lucy, and everything I Love Lucy-adjacent. Through these books, I learned about Lucille Ball’s movie career. I discovered that my library had a good selection of Lucille Ball’s films on VHS! I checked out every single one. It was through I Love Lucy and Lucille Ball that I developed my knowledge and love of classic film.

A scene from my favorite episode of “I Love Lucy.” William Holden’s face in this scene is one of the funniest scenes in the entire run of the show.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz have always held a special place in my heart. I Love Lucy is my absolute favorite show of all time. I have seen every episode dozens of times and never tire of it. I own the entire series on DVD. I own at least a dozen books about it. I saw the I Love Lucy colorized special in the theater. I have a dozen Lucy Ricardo Barbie Dolls. I have almost every Lucille Ball movie that’s available on DVD/Blu Ray. Lucy, Desi, and I Love Lucy is very important to me. I find it fascinating that an interest in Lucy and Desi seems to have revitalized in 2021. It’s very curious. Not that I’m unhappy about it, but why? Was the catalyst the 70th anniversary of the debut of I Love Lucy? In the past six months (give or take), we’ve had: A new Lucille Ball doll, Lucille Ball “Let’s Talk to Lucy” radio show/podcast on Sirius XM, TCM’s excellent Lucy podcast (highly recommended), and both a movie and documentary about Lucy and Desi. I hope more content is on the docket.

I don’t want to give “Being the Ricardos” a photo, so here is a picture of the ACTUAL Ricardos instead.

When I heard about Aaron Sorkin’s plan to dramatize a week in Lucy and Desi’s life, I was instantly turned off. For the record, I have not seen Being the Ricardos, nor do I plan to watch it. I saw Sorkin being interviewed on TCM, and I’m not even convinced that he’s ever seen an episode of I Love Lucy. I read about what the film is about, and he doesn’t even portray the correct episode being filmed when Lucy’s Communist allegations broke. They are filming a season 1 episode when this whole incident went down at the end of season 2/beginning of season 3. I’m not convinced about the casting of Lucy and Desi. I vehemently disagree with a quote by Sorkin stating that I Love Lucy isn’t a show that we’d find funny with a 21st century lens. I don’t know what planet Sorkin lives on, but I Love Lucy is still very popular.

Aside from the inaccuracies portrayed in Being the Ricardos, I do not want to see Lucy and Desi’s personal problems dramatized. I read Lucy’s memoir. I read Desi’s memoir. I have seen countless documentaries. I’ve read countless books. Lucy and Desi’s marital issues are well documented. Lucy and Desi fighting, Lucy and Desi divorcing, Desi’s drinking, Desi’s infidelity… these are not the things I want to think about when I think about Lucy and Desi. I want to think about the adorable couple I see in I Love Lucy. I want to think about the honeymooning couple in my favorite movie of all time: The Long, Long Trailer. I want to think about the photos of the ecstatic newlyweds after their 1940 elopement. Lucy and Desi are far more interesting than their divorce.

Thankfully, Amy Poehler came to the rescue with her new documentary, Lucy and Desi, that is currently streaming on Amazon Prime. I’m always game for a good documentary. However, because I’ve read/watched so much about Lucy and Desi, finding new programs and books that don’t simply rehash the same old stories again and again are hard to find. And while Lucy and Desi does cover some familiar ground, Poehler put a unique spin on sharing Lucy and Desi’s story. Following the same storytelling style present in TCM’s Lucy podcast, Poehler has archival audio clips of Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, and people close to Lucy and Desi telling the story. While there are some actual interviews featured by people like Lucie Arnaz, Carol Burnett, and my fave, Charo, much of the story is told by Lucy and Desi themselves. I also love how clips of I Love Lucy were used to tie pieces of Lucy and Desi’s story together. Poehler actually managed to find audio, video and photos that I’d never seen before! That was the absolute best part of watching this documentary.

I liked the narrative structure of the documentary. The events in the story unfold chronologically, with Lucy’s childhood, move to New York City as a teenager, and eventual opportunity to come to Hollywood being the key events of her life. Lucy and Desi, of course mentions the tragic accident that changed the course of Lucy and her family’s lives and how that incident motivated Lucy’s work ethic. Lucy’s family was financially devastated by the accident and Lucy was determined to never be in that situation again. It was interesting that the documentary did not mention Lucy’s bout with rheumatism, which derailed her life for two years in the late 1920s. Desi’s childhood of course was a riches to rags story, with his comfortable life ruined by the overthrowing of the Cuban government in 1933. Desi’s life story cannot be portrayed without mentioning this horrible event that completely ruined Desi and his family’s lives. It is asserted in the documentary that this was a formative event in Desi’s life and that it perhaps was the root cause of Desi’s personal problems later on in his life.

Lucy and Desi’s married life is depicted with countless home movies showing two people in love. The controversy over their interracial marriage is touched upon, but it’s obvious from the home movies that race was the furthest thing from Lucy and Desi’s minds. And of course, race again is a major player in the discussion regarding the genesis of I Love Lucy and how it almost didn’t happen because CBS didn’t think Americans would find Lucy and Desi’s marriage believable. Of course, CBS was wrong. Lucy and Desi were a sensation and I Love Lucy was and continues to be a massive hit. A bittersweet moment in the documentary is when Lucie Arnaz mentions that I Love Lucy only exists because Lucy and Desi wanted to be together, and they weren’t able to achieve that. The success of the show and their studio, Desilu, is partially what drove the couple apart.

I liked that Poehler didn’t opt to dwell on the latter part of Lucy and Desi’s lives. She mentions that both remarried and spends a little bit of time on Lucille Ball as President of Desilu, but really not much else is said. We don’t care about Gary Morton, Lucille Ball’s second husband. The documentary even says as much. We don’t care about Desi’s second wife, Edith Mack Hirsch. What we do care about is the fact that Lucy and Desi stayed in love after their divorce. They stayed friends. Lucy and Desi are known for having a very amicable divorce. They never fell out of love with one another. This is definitely proven by the ending scene showing Lucy being honored at the Kennedy Center.

The one thing I always hate about documentaries about my absolute favorite stars (almost all of whom are long deceased) is that the documentary has to mention their death. I can’t even watch my Errol Flynn documentary, because I love him so much I don’t want to be reminded of his death. Yes, I know logically, they have passed. I am not in denial about the fact. However, I want to think of Lucy and Desi (and Errol) as always being alive. And while Amy Poehler does devote some content of the documentary to Desi’s passing, it is included as a way to conclude their love story. Even then, we are treated to a very moving (and heartwrenching) epilogue to their story–Lucy and Desi’s love for one another never waned, even after death, Desi still loved Lucy.

I can take some solace in knowing that even if it was just for 2.5 short years, I was alive at the same time as Lucy and Desi, two people who have brought me almost three decades of happiness. Even during difficult days, I Love Lucy can always make me laugh.

I can highly recommend Amy Poehler’s Lucy and Desi documentary. I can only hope that it becomes available on Blu Ray.

“I Love Lucy,” episode “Redecorating.”
RICKY: “Lucy! What have you done with the windows?!”
I don’t know why, but that quote from Ricky always makes me laugh.

Van Johnson Blogathon- I Love Lucy “The Dancing Star”

Van Johnson isn’t a name that often comes up when people think about figures from the Golden Age of Hollywood. However, that isn’t to say that he wasn’t a star. He co-starred alongside many of Hollywood’s more legendary actors; but he never got that one film that would catapult him into the echelon of “legend.” Some of the “legendary” actors Van co-starred with: Gene Kelly (Brigadoon), Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy (State of the Union), Judy Garland (In the Good Old Summertime), Humphrey Bogart (The Caine Mutiny), and Elizabeth Taylor (The Last Time I Saw Paris). However, despite not ever making “the film” to propel him to legend status, Van was a big enough star to appear as himself alongside two of television’s biggest legends: Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, on an episode of I Love Lucy.

A young Van Johnson watches on as Frances Langford serenades the crowd in Too Many Girls.

The I Love Lucy episode, “The Dancing Star,” was not Van’s first experience working with Ball and Arnaz. In 1939, while trying to make it as a young actor in New York, Van scored a gig as understudy to the three male leads of George Abbot’s hit Broadway play (featuring the music of Rodgers and Hart), “Too Many Girls.” One of the main cast members (whom I’m going to assume that Van did not understudy) was the young 23-year old Cuban musician, Desi Arnaz. The play was a smash hit and Arnaz along with co-star Eddie Bracken were brought out to Hollywood to reprise their roles in the RKO film adaptation of the play.

In Hollywood, Van joined the cast as an uncredited part of the chorus. He can be seen in the background of a few scenes, but most prominently in the front of the crowd dancing during Desi Arnaz’ big conga number. Another new member of the cast of the RKO production was Lucille Ball. Ball was the star of the film and would play the role of the ingenue college student, Connie. Ball and Arnaz were introduced prior to the start of filming. However, their first meeting did not go well as Ball was still wearing the makeup and costume from her current film, Dance, Girl, Dance, which co-starred Maureen O’Hara. Ball’s makeup and costume was a black eye and a torn gold lamé dress that she wore while shooting a catfight scene with O’Hara. Looking at Ball’s black eye and torn gown, Arnaz could hardly envision her as the virginal ingenue of Too Many Girls. Later that evening, Arnaz and Ball were re-introduced. During this meeting, Ball had cleaned herself up and sported her own clothing and makeup. It was love at first sight for Ball and Arnaz and the rest, as they say, was history.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz met during the filming of “Too Many Girls”

Anyway, back to Van. After Too Many Girls, he got more understudy work, including as Gene Kelly’s understudy in the Broadway play, Pal Joey. Kelly would soon be starring in his first Hollywood film, For Me and My Gal, with Judy Garland. Discouraged, Van was about to quit Hollywood when friend Lucille Ball took him to the famous Chasen’s restaurant to meet an MGM casting director. This meeting led to Van getting a screen test at Columbia and Warner Brothers. Columbia didn’t pan out, but Van scored a few roles with Warner Brothers. After his contract with Warner Brothers ended, Van was signed to MGM. MGM is where Van finally got a break and soon was appearing in films. In 1943, Van got his big break when he appeared in A Guy Named Joe with Spencer Tracy and Irene Dunne. He continued to appear in many quality films throughout the 1940s.

Van and Esther Williams in Easy to Wed.

In 1946, Van was re-teamed with friend Ball in Easy to Wed which also co-starred Esther Williams and Keenan Wynn. Through the remainder of the 1940s, Van continued to appear in many great MGM films. By 1950, Van was freelancing, which freed him up to appear in films in other studios. During the 1950s, Van also started appearing in shows on the burgeoning medium known as television. In 1955, Van was invited to appear in a guest spot as himself on his friends’ (Arnaz and Ball) sitcom, I Love Lucy. By 1955, I Love Lucy was a massive hit and big stars were willing to appear on their show for free just to get the chance to be part of the program.

Van appears during the Hollywood story-arc of I Love Lucy in the episode, “The Dancing Star.” Ricky Ricardo (Arnaz) has been offered a role as Don Juan in Hollywood. He along with wife, Lucy (Ball), and their best friends Fred and Ethel Mertz (William Frawley and Vivian Vance) all head to California. While in California, wacky Lucy has various run-ins with stars (William Holden, Hedda Hopper, John Wayne, Harpo Marx, Rock Hudson, Sheila MacRae, Eve Arden, and CORNEL WILDE IN THE PENTHOUSE), often with disastrous results. One such star who did not suffer at the hands of Lucy however, was Van Johnson.

In “The Dancing Star,” Lucy’s old frenemy, Carolyn Appleby (Doris Singleton) shows up unexpectedly to pay Lucy and Ethel a visit while she’s on her way to Hawaii to meet-up with husband Charlie. Carolyn says that she’s going to stop over for a couple days so that she can meet all the stars Lucy’s been hobnobbing with per the postcards Lucy’s been sending out to her friends in Hollywood. Obviously, Lucy didn’t expect her friends to show up wanting to be part of the action. As Lucy is panicking, Ethel tells her that Van Johnson is appearing in a show at their hotel, The Beverly Palms. Ethel spots Van sleeping next to the pool and tells Lucy to go down there and pretend that she’s talking to him. Ethel will then casually bring Carolyn up to the window, point out Lucy and Van and all will be well.

Lucy Ricardo begs Van Johnson to dance with her in “I Love Lucy”

The plan goes off, somewhat, except that Carolyn has forgotten her glasses. Apparently Carolyn Appleby must wear contact lenses and has lost them, because in her previous appearances on the series, she’s had no issues with her eyesight. However, when Carolyn is in California, she’s blind as a bat. Carolyn can only make out two red-headed blurs and just has to assume that that is Lucy and Van. Of course, Lucy can’t leave well enough alone and brags to Carolyn about all the other stars that were also down at the pool. She then further ups the ante by telling Carolyn that she’s throwing a big soiree tomorrow evening where tons of stars will be in attendance. Conveniently, Carolyn’s flight to Hawaii is supposed to depart tomorrow evening. Aw shucks.

And because it’s Lucy and she has to be the object of envy of The Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League (who usually meets on Tuesdays, never on Thursdays, but occasionally on Fridays), she tells Carolyn that she’s “chummy” with Van. Lucy’s fib is based on the fact that Carolyn can’t see and that Van’s partner is a tall red-headed woman. With Carolyn’s blurred vision, she won’t be able to tell that Van’s partner is not Lucy. However, Lucy’s “great” plan is foiled when Carolyn’s airline finds her glasses and returns them to Carolyn at the hotel. Desperate, Lucy approaches Van and begs him to dance with her. She finally gets him to agree when she flatters him by saying that she’s seen his show 14 times and knows it backwards and forwards. Ethel and Carolyn see Lucy dancing with Van and all is well.

(VAN JOHNSON in response to LUCY RICARDO’S constant proclamations of not having much time and that “she’s” going to be here any minute)

VAN JOHNSON: “Who’s going to be here any minute?”

LUCY RICARDO: “Carolyn Appleby! Who do you think?!”

Van Johnson and Lucille Ball (Lucy Ricardo) in “The Dancing Star,” I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo finally gets her chance to be in the show. Screenshot from CBS’ colorized version of “The Dancing Star”

Later that evening, Lucy gets her big chance: Van’s partner is sick and he needs someone to replace her last minute. Seeing that Lucy knows the routine, Van thinks that she’s the perfect choice. And with this set-up, we finally get to see Lucy Ricardo in one of her rare performances where she’s allowed to perform a dance number without purposeful or accidental mishaps. In the “How About You?” number, Lucy and Van perform a beautiful, simple song and dance number. Lucy looks beautiful in her feather-covered gown. She and Van are a sensation. Ricky watches his wife dance this wonderful number with a deep adoration. Ethel and Fred watch their friend, proudly. And Carolyn is overjoyed.

Wait? Carolyn?! Wasn’t she going to Hawaii?

Apparently, Carolyn has decided to put off her flight to Hawaii one more day to attend Lucy’s big Hollywood party. Yikes.

Cue the famous “Lucy Meets Harpo Marx” episode, the unofficial second part of “The Dancing Star.”

“Gotta little laryngitis, baby!”

Classic Favorite TV Episode Blogathon- “Don’t Bug the Mosquitos” Gilligan’s Island

I know that I’m a couple weeks late with this one and missed the event. I also missed the Buster Keaton event. This was a very busy week/weekend for me and unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find the time to write this article. I had to prioritize some writing for my job (I write work procedures and other technical documentation) over my hobby writing. But I wanted to get caught up on this and my other blogathons–including finishing my Doris Day article on-time. I also have an article I want to write about an event going on amongst the Classic Film community on Twitter–PreCode April.

Rest in Peace Dawn Wells (1938-2020)

For the Favorite TV Show episode blogathon, I wanted to pay tribute to the late Dawn Wells. Wells passed away on December 30, 2020 from complications from COVID-19 (curse you COVID!) at the age of 82. Wells is best known as Mary Ann Summers, the young, perky Kansas farm girl castaway on Gilligan’s Island. Mary Ann was also my favorite castaway. At the beginning of the series, Mary Ann (along with The Professor) was relegated to the “And the Rest” part of the credits. Fortunately, at the behest of star, Bob Denver (Gilligan), Mary Ann and The Professor were added to the credits sequence in season two, where they remained until the end of the series. AUTHOR SIDENOTE: Seriously Gilligan’s Island theme song writers? You named 5/7 castaways by name, what’s two more castaways?

Anyway, as everyone recalls, almost every episode of Gilligan’s Island involved the castaways tying to get off the island. They often got their hopes up when a random celebrity/lookalike/character would show up on the allegedly uncharted island. Seriously, for an uncharted island, EVERYONE seemed to know where it was. I would imagine that the news of the SS Minnow’s passengers failing to return from their three-hour tour would have been Hawaiian news, if not national United States news. The passenger list includes a movie star, two multi-millionaires, and a prominent college professor. And if anything, the Skipper and Gilligan’s employer would be looking for them. And presumably, Mary Ann’s family and boyfriend, Horace Higgenbotham, would be looking for her. With all these random people coming across the uncharted island, why didn’t word get back to Hawaii?

But I digress. It’s Gilligan’s Island. It’s not supposed to make any sense. And don’t even get me started on that radio!

Mary Ann (Dawn Wells), Ginger (Tina Louise), and Mrs. Howell (Natalie Schaefer) are “The Honeybees.”

One such random visitor to find the uncharted island, were the Beatles-esque rock band, The Mosquitos. Apparently The Mosquitos traveled to the uncharted island to escape their fans and get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, the island isn’t deserted like they’d hoped and they find more fans in the form of Gilligan and Mary Ann. The castaways then learn that The Mosquitos aren’t planning on leaving the island for a month. To try and force the band to leave sooner, the castaways work to make life stressful for the band, so that they’ll want to leave. The Mosquitos do leave… but merely move to the other side of the island. They’re quickly discovered by the castaways. The band then informs the gang that they’re not planning on leaving for two months.

In order to make sure that The Mosquitos don’t depart without them, the male castaways form their own band, The Gnats. They are terrible. Then, the women make their own band, The Honeybees. As is to be expected, a band featuring Ginger is much better, and Mary Ann and even Mrs. Howell (!) are adorable. The Mosquitos are charmed by the ladies. However, this plan backfires as The Mosquitos leave in a hurry and without the castaways, because they don’t want competition from The Honeybees.

Does this plot make sense? No not really. But it doesn’t matter. The Honeybees’ song, “You Need Us” is completely charming, from beginning to end. The girls look great. Ginger looks gorgeous and shows off her dancing ability. Mary Ann is adorable. Mrs. Howell is a great sport and is much better than Mr. Howell at dancing and singing.

We just won’t think about how the record player is powered, why the castaways have a record player, and why do they have so many records to play? Why do they have three matching Honeybees’ costumes? Or Mrs. Howell’s wig?

Home Sweet Home Blogathon- The Brady Bunch and Their Home at 4222 Clinton Way

Here’s the story of a lovely lady. Who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother. The youngest one in curls.

It’s the story of a man named Brady, who was busy with three boys of his own. They were four men, living all together. Yet they were all alone.

Till the one day, when the lady met this fellow and they knew it was much more than a hunch. That this group must somehow form a family.

And that’s the way [they] became:

So goes the iconic opening theme song and credits sequence that not only introduces the characters, but also provides the audience with all the information they need to enjoy the show. I love The Brady Bunch. Yes, it can be corny at times and overly sappy, but for me, it treads the fine line between being charmingly sappy and obnoxiously saccharine (looking at you Full House) that purposely manipulates its audience. Yes, episodes of the Brady Bunch can have lessons, but more often than not, there are repeating motifs that “kids” of all ages (yes, adults too) can identify with. Some common motifs are: boys/men against girls/women, younger versus older, big-head syndrome, and puppy love. Despite what setbacks and challenges the characters may face, the audience knows that all will be resolved by the end of the episode.

The iconic Brady home–the second most photographed private residence in the country after the White House

Much of the action of the series unfolds inside the Brady residence at 4222 Clinton Way in an unnamed city. However, based on references made throughout the series, we can safely assume that the Bradys live somewhere in the sprawling Los Angeles area. It is also established that the oldest son, Greg Brady, is the “Casanova of Clinton Avenue.” The Brady Bunch’s house is a character in and of itself. Their house, both the exterior and interior is iconic. Even the layman Brady Bunch fan, even someone only remotely aware of the Brady Bunch’s existence, knows what the house looks like.

Mike Brady, the patriarch of the Brady clan, and an architect, designed the Brady’s home. Despite popular belief, they have more than one bathroom in the house. Aside from the kids’ famous Jack-and-Jill bathroom, Mike and Carol also have a bathroom in their master bedroom. Where else would Carol hang her purple shower curtain that Greg and “Raquel,” Coolidge High School’s goat mascot, rip down? Finally, I think it is safe to assume that Alice has her own bathroom attached to her bedroom. Based on the amount of Brady Bunch that I’ve watched (and it’s a lot), I believe that Alice’s room is behind the kitchen nearby the service porch.

The Brady house is well-designed and decorated. The multi-level home has a small foyer that brings guests into the Brady’s living room and dining room. The living room seems to be a more formal space as this is frequently where Mike entertains his clients, like Senor and Senorita Calderon, who later see Peter aka “Phil Packer” and Greg entertaining some girlfriends in a supposed X-rated manner at Marioni’s Pizza. This room is where Marcia entertains Davy Jones who stops by to bring Marcia a copy of his new album after he overhears her lamenting to his manager that she promised to get Davy to appear at her prom. The living room is also where Marcia meets her “dream of dreams,” Desi Arnaz Jr. The living room is not without its drama however, this is also the room where Peter accidentally breaks “mom’s favorite vase” with a basketball, despite mom having said: “don’t play ball in the house.” The living room is also where Marcia holds slumber parties until they’re disrupted by itching powder, and where kids hold their parties. It is at one of these parties when Peter learns that he does have a personality after all, and that personality is “lady killer.” This room is not without heartbreak however, aside from the sad demise of “mom’s favorite vase,” this is the room where Marcia starts bawling after the boys completely ignore her speech when she runs for Class President (against Greg).

The dining room: the scene of the infamous broken vase incident

Later, in the dining room, mom’s favorite vase endures yet another humiliation when it starts leaking all over the table after having been filled with water for some flowers. It seems that the kids’ glue job wasn’t up to snuff. The dining room also serves as the location for the kids’ house of cards contest that would determine whether the boys or the girls would receive Alice’s bounty of trading stamps. The boys wanted to use their stamps to buy a rowboat, and the girls wanted a sewing machine. In the end, Tiger runs into Greg, causing him to fall into the house of cards. The girls make good though and use the stamps to get a color television set. Presumably, this is the set that goes into the family room. Poor Alice, despite doting on the family day in and day out, never gets to eat dinner with the family. She finally gets to eat dinner with them when Mike announces that he will be making a gourmet dinner for the family. The dining room also features an entrance to the Brady’s backyard with the famous, low-maintenance (though we see Marcia cutting it with scissors in an episode) Astro-Turf lawn.

“The Man” aka Greg Brady eats breakfast in the kitchen while Carol and Mike chastise him for calling them by their first names.

The dining room is adjacent to the Brady’s kitchen. The Brady kitchen is iconic with its orange formica countertops and avocado green appliances. There is also an awesome double oven built into a brick column. There’s also a stovetop built into the counter. Over the years, much cooking goes on in the Brady kitchen, including, but not limited to: meatloaf, the girls’ horrible breakfast, pork chops and applesauce, strawberry preserves, Mike’s gourmet dinner, Marcia’s merit badge meal, spaghetti that tastes like metal when eaten with Marcia’s one-episode braces, Brady Kid lunch assembly line, Peter’s “Straw Split Fudge Short,” and countless other meals. This room is where Alice has the last apple, the last peach, and the last banana hidden. The tulip table and chairs (that I love, by the way) is where Marcia and Greg fight over Marcia’s date with Warren Mulaney and where Jan pretends to be an only child. This is where Mike, Carol and Alice sit over coffee at the table and discuss issues regarding the children. The kitchen also features an entrance to the backyard.

Greg, Marcia and Jan relax in the family room

Through the saloon doors and passthrough of the kitchen is the Brady den. The den is where the family watch the latest sports game, movie, or family member(s) on television. This is where the kids “Can make the World A Whole Lot Brighter” with their Brady Six act. This is the room where Alice irons and listens to her soap opera. This is also the room where the kids, seated on the plaid couches, sometimes receive lectures. One such lecture they received involved the high phone bills they were racking up. To remedy the situation (or so he thought), Mike installed a payphone in the family room. This somewhat worked until Mike found himself without a phone and without a dime needing to take a call from an important client. In the den, Marcia practices her yoga for one of the dozen clubs she joins when she starts at Westdale High. The den has the most-used entrance to the Brady’s backyard.

Greg and Marcia do “yard work” on the Astro Turf in the backyard.

The backyard is where Bobby and Cindy try to break the record for longest time teeter-tottering. This is where the kids, sans Jan, practice for the potato sack race. This is where Mike and the kids refurbish and paint the “S.S. Brady” a row-boat too small for the whole family to enjoy. The backyard provides room for all the kids’ school pursuits, such as a working full-size dunking booth (you can’t say Mike and Carol don’t go all-in for their kids and their kids’ educations. Money and time are no object, apparently) Greg’s re-creation of the Pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock, and where the family puts on “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” as a benefit to pay for a gift for Mrs. Whitfield, a beloved teacher who is retiring. Later, in The Brady Bunch Movie, we will again see Mrs. Whitfield who has returned to teaching, but has apparently fallen on hard times in the 1990s and is busted for stealing school supplies. The backyard is where Bobby receives his first kiss, courtesy of the potentially mumps-infested Millicent. The backyard is not completely full of mirth and whimsy however, It is also the where Jan, not wearing her glasses (they make her look “positively goofy” she says), crashes into Mike’s anniversary gift for Carol, Peter risks potential murder (via Alice) for getting mud all over the patio, Greg brings home his lemon of a car, Peter is nearly killed by a falling ladder, but pushed out of the way by Bobby (who is covered in green paint in the process), Greg loses the pull-up contest to Bobby and has to become his slave, Greg announces to his parents that he will not attend college and will instead focus on becoming “Johnny Bravo,” and finally, poor Tiger’s vacant dog-house still stands as a reminder that Tiger hasn’t been seen since Season 2.

My favorite iteration of the girls’ room. I love the wallpaper!

Above the backyard are the bedrooms. The girls’ room is the room that had the shutter Greg was painting before he dangerously climbs through the window from the ladder (that comes crashing down towards Peter’s head, before Bobby pushes him out of the way and is doused with green paint) to answer the phone. The girls’ room is where a lot of tears were shed: Marcia when she was removed as Juliet from her school’s rendition of “Romeo and Juliet,” Marcia when she has to get braces, Jan when she thinks she’s ugly, and poor Cindy when she endures frequent bullying by Buddy Hinton who mocks her for having a lisp. Buddy Hinton was such a loser, aside from being a bully, he’s obviously at least a 5th-6th grader picking on a 1st grader. But looking at his parents, especially his doormat of a mother, it’s no wonder. However, the girls’ room is also one of much happiness, this is where Marcia displays all her awards, where Jan finds her lost locket after looking for “The Little Bear” and where Cindy keeps her life savings (inside her doll’s head of course) that she happily contributes when the kids decide to form a singing group.

The most contentious room in the Brady home.

Adjacent to the girls’ bedroom, is the famous blue Jack-and-Jill bathroom. This room causes a lot of tension between the children, definitely fueling the misconception that it is the only bathroom in the house. The girls scatter their hair ribbons all over the place, much to the boys’ chagrin. Jan locks herself in the bathroom to scrub her freckles off with a lemon. Marcia tries to impress Cindy with her beauty routine only to have Cindy inquire about brushing her teeth with braces. Jan locks herself in the bathroom to try out the wig she purchased when she decides to change her whole look–“The New Jan Brady.” The drama over the bathroom reaches a boiling point in one episode, when Mike and Carol actually consider moving to a larger house with additional bathrooms. Thankfully, they reconsider after the kids proclaim their love for the house (and haunt it for good measure) when a potential buyer comes to look at the home.

The boys’ room. Bobby and Peter in the bunk beds, Greg in the single. Personally, I could do without the clown picture.

On the other side of the bathroom is the boys’ room. Peter and Bobby share a bunk bed with Greg in a single bed on the other side of the room. Unlike the girls’ room which was re-decorated at least three times, the boys’ room stayed pretty much the same (can’t lose those scary clown paintings), except when Greg moves into the attic. The boys’ room is pretty basic however. This is where Peter locks Bobby in the closet after he tires of being his slave. Greg croons “Clowns never laughed before, beanstalks never grew,” lyrics from a song he’d written during happier times before he was busted for smoking. Greg has a reality-check when he realizes that he may never be as great a pitcher as baseball great, Don Dysdale, whom he’d met earlier in the backyard. This is also where Bobby meets Joe Namath, who comes to visit the “ailing” Bobby after Cindy writes him a letter talking about her brother’s illness. This is the room where Greg wants to talk to Mike “man-to-man, not kid-to-man man-to-man but man-to-man man-to man.” This is where both Greg and Peter start shaving their one whisker.

Raquel and Alice in the hallway. Why is that chair there? It serves no purpose except to be in Raquel’s way!

The hallway isn’t that exciting except that it features Carol’s favorite feature: a walk-in linen closet, that she shows off briefly when giving an impromptu tour of her home to her fellow Westdale High PTA members. This closet is also located directly below Greg’s attic bedroom and the kids can hear all his secrets: such as him stashing “Raquel” in his bedroom. The hallway also has two random chairs that I don’t understand. Who is going to just sit in the hallway randomly? Get these out of here, Carol! These are taking up precious walking room.

Mike and Carol’s love nest. I really like their screen.

At another end of the hall, we have Mike and Carol’s master bedroom. This room was supposedly redecorated, when a decision was being made between striped or floral wallpaper. In the end though, they painted the room teal and it seemingly looked the same as it did before? I loved the floral architectural piece behind Mike and Carol’s bed. I also loved that this show actually featured parents who seemingly had a life and some romance outside of their six children. The more “romantic” side of their relationship is hinted to when the kids make Mike and Carol a “Do Not Disturb” sign for their bedroom. Mike and Carol’s closet, supposedly divided 50/50, but probably more 70/30 in Carol’s favor, is full of Carol’s frilly nightgowns, bags to match her shoes, and the different outfits she buys (skiing outfit for the mountains, bikini for the beach, cowboy outfit for the dude ranch, red flapper dress for the Charleston contest, country dress for the square dance). Nobody can accuse this woman for not dressing appropriately for the occasion.

Greg’s swingin’ bachelor pad in the attic. Personally, I think he should have incorporated some of the things from his first pad.
I mean, surely some of these things would work perfectly in Greg’s attic room? I think he needs some of the mood lighting and tapestries.

Upstairs, in the attic (that Mike must have somehow retrofitted from its 2′ height clearance in season 2 to being at least 7′ if not 9′ at the end of season 4), is Greg’s bedroom. Greg’s moving into the room was a contentious affair, with Marcia wanting the room as well, but ultimately Greg won out. His “bachelor pad” so to speak, is pretty sweet. Greg has a patchwork carpet, a larger bed, an old-time radio, a coat rack, a dartboard, a beaded curtain that separated a sink from his bedroom, and a globe! Greg’s room looks like what a kid might decorate his own room with if he had unlimited access to random stuff in his parents’ attic. I only wish Greg had incorporated some of the things from his previous bachelor’s pad in Mike’s den, such as the plastic flowers, the lava lamps and the mattress on the floor. The most exciting thing to happen in Greg’s attic room is when he stole Raquel the goat mascot from his rival, Coolidge High. Greg then tried to keep Raquel a secret, but everyone quickly found out.

The famous stairs served as the optimal space for promotional photos. From left to right: Cindy (Susan Olsen), Bobby (Mike Lookinland), Jan (Eve Plumb), Peter (Christopher Knight), Marcia (Maureen McCormick), Greg (Barry Williams), Alice (Ann B. Davis), Carol (Florence Henderson), and Mike (Robert Reed)

The famous Brady stairs were the focal point for many scenes. There are many moments with kids rushing excitedly up or down the stairs. Kids hid at the top of the stairs to spy, such as the kids spying on Marcia when she meets both Davy Jones and Desi Arnaz Jr. The Kids used the stairs to scare Alice when they send a “ghost” down a zipline to scare her when she walks in the door. Bobby slides down the stair railing in an episode. The Brady cast members regularly posed on the stairs, the kids in order by age, then the adults at the end. Then, of course, lest we forget, the stairs served as the vehicle in which Peter’s basketball traveled to take out mom’s favorite vase.

Oops! Marcia is about to spill correction fluid all over Mike’s architecture plans

At the base of the stairwell is Mike’s den. For the most part, this room remained quiet and professional (except when Greg redecorated it) as this is where Mike often worked when a deadline was looming, or when he had to re-create plans, such as when delivery boy, Greg, lost Mike’s plans after setting them down to peruse a car magazine. This room was strictly forboden to the kids, as Marcia learned when she spilled correction fluid all over the plans, during some horseplay with Jan and Cindy. Marcia was in the office writing her article for “Father of the Year.” Carol was really the only other person Mike allowed to be in the den while he was working. Alice came into the den to clean and talk to Mike and Carol. The kids only seemed to come into the den to seek some advice, like Jan did when she was stressed out about Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Mike’s den is very classic in its decoration and lacks some of the more dated decor of the 1970s.

Ooh look at Alice’s luxurious view of the mop and bucket!

Behind the stairwell, I believe is Alice’s room. Her room isn’t seen often in the series, but she is seen emerging from somewhere behind the kitchen. As a live-in maid, and someone whom the Brady’s value enough to take to the Grand Canyon, Hawaii, Cincinnati, and camping at Mount Claymore, it seems reasonable that she would have her own bedroom and bathroom. In the episode where Alice sprains her ankle tripping on Bobby’s Chinese Checkers (lying on the floor of the dining room), we see her in bed reading a book, All My Loves. Alice’s bedroom seems to be off-limits to the kids, except when they see her packing up her bedroom. After Mike and Carol’s marriage, Alice feels that her job is redundant, because Mike won’t need her after marrying Carol. The family puts on an elaborate ruse to show Alice how much she is needed.

Carol is about to find her mangled earring at the bottom of the washing machine in the service porch.

Just off of Alice’s bedroom is the laundry room, or service porch. No doubt Alice’s room suffered water damage when Bobby decided to wash his suit (dirty after rescuing “Pandora,” a cat owned by the world’s worst child actress) with an entire box of Safe detergent. Speaking of Safe, the service porch must be where Carol is storing the 2000 boxes of Safe they received as payment for the commercial they filmed. The service porch isn’t seen much, but it does serve as the opulent entrance to Alice’s bedroom!

The Brady home is iconic. For fans like me, every room of the house featured some memorable moment. We experience these moments as if we also lived in the home with the family. As an oldest child (though definitely not of six), I always identified with Marcia and Greg. They were my favorite of the kids. I also could identify with the third oldest, Peter, to an extent. I loved that the kids weren’t overly goody goody like Wally and Beaver in Leave it to Beaver, and I liked that the parents were portrayed as intelligent people with lives independent of their children. Carol, while she didn’t work outside the home (though she’s a relator in A Very Brady Christmas made-for-TV movie), was shown as being part of different clubs and charities. She also had hobbies like embroidery and sculpture. I felt like the kids were well-rounded and realistic. They didn’t have annoying catchphrases like kids on 90s sitcoms had. Even if their problems were solved in 30 minutes, so what? Who wants to watch Marcia’s over-inflated ego over playing Juliet play out over multiple episodes? I would welcome an extension of the Family Night Frolics. Or any of the episodes where the kids sing. “Good Time Music,” indeed.

The Brady Bunch has always been one of my absolute favorite shows. It’s right up there with I Love Lucy and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. I have seen every episode, multiple times. I own the entire series on DVD and I have the two satire films: The Brady Bunch Movie and A Very Brady Sequel. It’s quotable, I can recognize the episodes within seconds, I love their clothes (well most of them), and I really love their house. I would live in that house today, orange formica and all. Long live The Brady Bunch!

And remember: “Mom always said, don’t play ball in the house!”