The Fake Teenager Festivus- Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990-2000)

32 years ago, on October 4, 1990, one of the all-time best teen soaps, Beverly Hills, 90210, premiered on the then-newish Fox network. However, during its first season, ‘90210’ (as it became known), was not originally intended to be a soap. The first season focused on the Walsh twins, Brandon (Jason Priestley) and Brenda (Shannen Doherty) and their culture shock moving from Minneapolis, Minnesota to the affluent Beverly Hills, California zip code. Obviously, the Walsh parents Jim (James Eckhouse) and Cindy (Carol Potter), weren’t doing too shabby themselves if they could afford a home in Beverly Hills. However, it it established that in Beverly Hills, there’s well-off like the Walshes, and there’s really well-off, like all of Brandon and Brenda’s classmates who also attend West Beverly Hills High School.

The original cast of “Beverly Hills, 90210.”

Right off the bat watching season 1 of Beverly Hills, 90210, it’s obvious that the “kids” in this show are not kids. When I watched this show when it was new, I didn’t really notice how old the teenagers looked. However, that’s probably because I was in elementary school when the show started. I recently re-watched the first three seasons (haven’t gotten further than that yet, but I might start it up again!) after Luke Perry’s tragic passing (RIP Dylan!) and it is so obvious that these people are NOT in high school. Some of the actors are a little more believable than others. In 1990, Priestley was 21, Doherty was 19, Jennie Garth was 18, Tori Spelling and Brian Austin Green were 17…then the heavy hitters, Ian Ziering was 26, Luke Perry was 24, and Gabrielle Carteris was 29 (!). The teenage characters, save for David, were supposed to be 16 and juniors in high school. David is established as being a year younger, but would skip a grade in season 3 and graduate with his friends. In season 2, the characters repeat their junior year, presumably to keep the high school years rolling a little bit longer.

However, I choose to justify their age discrepancies by focusing on how much each character endured during their time on the series. Anyone would look haggard after all that they went through.

Brandon Walsh is all around a nice guy. But he can also be a self-righteous, judgemental prick. He is not without his flaws however. He becomes acquainted with bad girl Emily Valentine who introduces him to U4EA at a rave. U4EA is a 90210-term for ecstasy. Brandon gets high and ends up needing to have Dylan take him home. Later Brandon gets in deep with a bookie after losing numerous sports bets and he goes through many many girlfriends, eventually ending up in a love triangle with Dylan and Kelly. Unlike his friends, Brandon works at the Peach Pit in order to have pocket money.

Iconic credits sequence after the season 2 re-branding.

Brandon’s sister Brenda doesn’t have it as easy as Brandon. It’s established that she cannot pass her driver’s test to save her life, so she has to rely on rides from her brother and friends. Brenda is in a very tumultuous on-off-on-off again relationship with Dylan. Her father, Jim, thinks that Dylan is a bad influence and tries everything in his power to keep them apart. Everything he does is in vain however, and eventually Brenda ends up stuck in Mexico after sneaking away to meet Dylan in Baja and forgetting her ID. For the record, Brenda lies to Dylan about having permission to be in Baja. He was going on his own whether she was there or not. Brenda ends up breaking up with Dylan at the end of season 2 because their relationship is moving too quickly for her. During season 3’s “Summer of Deception,” Brenda ends up hooking up with Rick (Dean Cain) in Paris, while pretending to be Frenchwoman, “Brenda DuBois.” Meanwhile, Dylan and Kelly spend the summer canoodling at the beach club. This entire thing comes to a head in the greatest moment of the entire series when Brenda and Rick run into Dylan and Kelly at the same restaurant. Other events that happen to Brenda include becoming enamored by her cardio funk instructor, pretending to be “La-voyne” the waitress at the Peach Pit, being robbed at gunpoint one evening while working at the Peach Pit and going through a breast cancer scare.

Brenda quickly befriends Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth), one of the most popular girls in school. However, it is also established that she gained some of her popularity by sleeping around. Kelly does try to reclaim her reputation and improve it by being a little more selective, with varying degrees of success. Poor Kelly goes through a lot during her ten years on the show. At the beginning of the series, Kelly is presented as being promiscuous. It is later revealed that she was taken advantage of by a classmate and she is nearly raped again at the Halloween party when she was struggling with her self-esteem. She is the ex-girlfriend of Steve Sanders and childhood classmate of Dylan McKay, whom she memorably becomes involved with during the “Summer of Deception.” Kelly’s mother, Jackie, is an ex-model and also an alcoholic and cocaine addict. Her father is MIA. During the series, Kelly struggles with an eating disorder, joining a cult, being burned in a fire, becoming a cocaine addict, being raped and shooting her rapist in self-defense, having amnesia, and suffering a miscarriage. Kelly, Donna and David would eventually all live together in a sweet condo on the beach.

The amazing “Donna Martin Graduates” sequence from season 3.

Kelly’s best friend throughout the series is Donna Martin (Tori Spelling) who is also popular but is religious and very set on staying a virgin, much to her longtime boyfriend, David Silver’s (Brian Austin Green), frustration. David’s frustration will lead to him losing his virginity to a woman in the back seat of Babyface’s limo, which hurts Donna. The “Will They or Won’t They?” storyline of David and Donna gets pretty annoying, but eventually in season seven (I think), they seal the deal–I’m sure much to the chagrin of Donna’s shrewish mother, Felice. Donna also faces the drama of being drunk at the senior prom (David’s dad having given the kids champagne before hand) and risks not being allowed to graduate. This event begins one of the greatest moments of the series, with “DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!” being chanted again and again by students protesting Donna’s expulsion from school. Donna would have her share of troubles including being on/off again with David, being in an abusive relationship, and attempted rape.

Donna’s boyfriend David, started out as the dorky younger classmate who had a crush on Donna. He constantly tried to prove himself to her and her friends, eventually earning an “in” into the group. His friend, Scott Scanlon, suddenly didn’t fit in. Making matters worse was Scott accidentally shooting and killing himself at his birthday party. David felt guilty, but Scott was soon never mentioned again. Eventually, David’s dad and Kelly’s mom married each other and had a child. Throughout all of this, David desperately wanted to become a rapper, even joining Steve Sanders Management Group for representation. After only a few gigs at the beach club and a failed record deal, David presumably dropped Steve as his manager. Later, I seem to recall him managing some sort of club and he has a hit song at some point. David and Donna would also run the West Bev DJ booth during their time in high school. Also at one point, David becomes addicted to meth and is only saved from jail time by Dylan who forces him to flush his stash down the toilet.

Speaking of Dylan McKay (Luke Perry), while he is popular, he is also very mysterious and also somewhat of a loner. Dylan’s mother abandoned him and his father and lives in Hawaii. Dylan’s father, Jack McKay (who fakes his death in season 3), is always involved in various illegal activities and is scarcely to be found for the first two and a half seasons. On Dylan and Brenda’s first date, Dylan has an altercation with his father which culminates with Dylan having an emotional breakdown on the sidewalk and breaking a flower pot. He mostly lives by himself at the BelAge Hotel. Dylan’s father did at least leave him with a good nest egg to live off of, as Dylan doesn’t work, drives a sweet Porsche, and can afford the hotel bills at the luxury hotel. Later Dylan would move into a sweet bungalow. Who wouldn’t want a high school boyfriend who lives alone in his own home?

A screenshot from the greatest moment in the entire 10-year run of the series: When Dylan and Kelly run into Brenda and Rick at the restaurant. If only I could find a photo of Brenda’s face in this moment.

Luke Perry is lampooned often for his forehead wrinkles, but I would justify it by saying that Dylan lived a rough life. His father faked his own death. Dylan is also an alcoholic and later has a drug addiction. Then, he is fleeced out of his fortune by his half-sister’s mother and her fiance. Dylan then hires a hitman to avenge his father’s death, but falls in love with Toni, the daughter of his father’s killer. However, Toni’s father hates Dylan, and arranges to have him killed by shooting him when he gets into his car. However, Toni gets into the car instead and is killed in a hail of gunfire. My point is, leave this man and his forehead wrinkles alone, he’s been through a lot. Plus, he’s hot so who cares?

Another part of the gang is Steve Sanders (Ian Ziering) another friend of Brandon’s and former ex-boyfriend to Kelly. He is the Zach Morris of West Bev, always trying to make a quick buck, always trying to scam people. He is a jock and part of the in-crowd but is a bit of a jokester, a ladies man, and drives a Corvette. His big storyline at the beginning of the series is that he was adopted and desperately wants to find his birth parents–even going on a Christmas pilgrimage to New Mexico to find them. His adopted mother, Samantha Sanders, is a famous television actress who is never home for her son. Steve is always falling short due to his own bad decisions and then always has to scramble to try and make things right. He barely graduates after having been expelled for using the school computers to change his grades. Not all hope is lost for Steve however, he eventually turns it around, even having a steady girlfriend (and I think later, wife?) named Janet.

Andrea Zuckerman. Student or Teacher? The constant charade of having to pretend you live in Beverly Hills and not Van Nuys would age anyone.

Finally, there’s Andrea (pronounced Awn-dree-a) (Gabrielle Carteris) who looks like everyone’s teacher, not classmate. Frankly, this girl is always stressed because she desperately wants to attend Yale–her entire high school slate of activities revolves around formulating the perfect resume to get into Yale. She’s also the editor of the West Beverly Blaze newspaper, a project she puts her entire heart and soul into, as if she were running the Washington Post! She is also hopelessly in love with Brandon, despite him only seeing her as a friend. She even goes as far as offering herself as a gift to him when she thinks he’s moving back to Minnesota. Later at their senior prom, Brandon and Andrea find themselves alone together in a hotel room–only to decide to remain friends. And if all of this isn’t enough, Andrea is later a victim of a hit and run accident! Eventually, Andrea gives up her dream of going to Yale University and instead attends California University. It must be a huge blow to your ego to end up at the same college as Steve Sanders–the person who was almost expelled from West Bev for changing his grades on the school computer. Andrea eventually ends up pregnant during college and moves away. All of this drama, plus having to hide the fact that she really lives in Van Nuys, no wonder Andrea looks like she’s almost 30.

Regardless of how “old” everyone looks, this is still one of my favorite night-time soaps. I used to watch this show with my parents every Wednesday night, along with Party of Five. I also watched Melrose Place, the 90210-spinoff, that aired on Monday nights. 90210 definitely wore out its welcome and probably should have been canceled long before season 10, when barely any of the original characters were on the show; but it was still fun to watch. What ridiculous thing could possibly happen this week? They don’t make shows like this anymore.

Be still my heart! RIP Luke Perry!!

You Knew My Name: The Bond, Not Bond Blogathon- Pierce Brosnan in “Mrs. Doubtfire” (1993)

I will admit that I’m not the biggest James Bond person. Not that I don’t like the films, but they’re just okay for me. It might be because I’m not a big action person. However, I have seen some of the Bond films, in fact, I’ve seen all of Pierce Brosnan’s Bond films. I remember “Goldeneye” being a big thing in 1995, especially when it came to the Nintendo 64, the hot video game system of middle school. But I digress. My first introduction to Pierce was not James Bond. My first introduction to Pierce was when he played Sally Field’s new beau in Mrs. Doubtfire. I remember thinking how Sally was a lucky woman–her new boyfriend was hot!

Robin Williams, Sally Field, and Pierce Brosnan in “Mrs. Doubtfire.”

In Mrs. Doubtfire, Sally Field plays Miranda Hillard, a successful San Francisco-based interior decorator. She is married to Daniel Hillard, a freelance-voice actor, played by the late Robin Williams. At the beginning of the film, Miranda and Daniel separate after he goes way over the top in a birthday celebration for their son. It’s the last straw for Miranda, who needs a responsible, reliable husband–not another, larger, child. She and Daniel separate and Miranda files for divorce. Daniel’s hopes for shared custody is based on his finding a suitable home and reliable employment within three months.

Needing someone to help keep the house in order and to watch the children, Miranda decides that she is going to hire a housekeeper/nanny. Daniel gets wind of this and concocts a scheme to put his voice acting skills to work and apply for the position. He gets his brother Frank, a makeup artist, to create a prosthetic mask and padding to bring “Mrs. Doubtfire” (Daniel’s female alter ego) to life. Mrs. Doubtfire applies for the position, wins over Miranda, and has the job. After a couple rough days, Mrs. Doubtfire hits her stride and is soon an irreplaceable member of the family.

“It was a run-by fruiting!”

Unfortunately for Daniel, Miranda has moved onto a new beau, Stuart “Stu” Dunmeyer, played by the super hot Pierce Brosnan. Sorry Robin Williams fans, as awesome as he was, he does not compete with Pierce Brosnan in the looks department–get it, Sally Field! There is a funny scene where Stu takes Miranda and the kids to the country club to swim. Depressed at the sight of seeing another man romancing his estranged wife and children, Mrs. Doubtfire downs drinks at the bar. At one point, after hearing a rude remark made about him by Stu, he throws a lime at the back of Stu’s head, then claims there was a “run-by fruiting” when Stu turns around in anger.

I think the film tries to somewhat portray Stu as a villain for comedic effect. However, he’s not really a villain in the sense that he’s purposely doing anything bad. However, he will be the factor that will ruin Daniel’s chances at reconciliation. While Daniel is trying to improve his life and meet the court requirements for joint custody, what he wants is to be back with his family; however Stu looks like he’ll be blocking that goal. And Stu isn’t just trying to hook up with old flame Miranda. After a business associate makes a comment about Miranda “having baggage” (i.e. three children), Stu corrects him, stating that he’s crazy about Miranda and her children.

The hunky Pierce Brosnan in “Mrs. Doubtfire.”

Daniel’s behavior toward Stu reinforces Miranda’s decision to divorce him, in my opinion. Here is a grown man, who yes, is upset that Stu is taking his place as the patriarch, but he responds by throwing fruit, flipping Stu the bird, stating that Stu achieved his physique with liposuction, pulling the emblem off the hood of Stu’s Mercedes, and then truly takes things too far at Miranda’s birthday dinner. Daniel learns of Stu’s allergy to pepper. Daniel is at the restaurant to attend both a dinner/meeting with his new boss and as Mrs. Doubtfire to celebrate Miranda’s birthday. He ducks into the kitchen, finds Stu’s dinner and sprinkles pepper all over it. Stu is handed his dinner, takes a bite, and immediately starts choking. He is truly at risk of dying and Daniel finally realizes what he’s done and saves Stu’s life via the heimlich maneuver. Unfortunately for Daniel, the jig is up as Mrs. Doubtfire when his prosthetic mask is torn from his face while saving Stu. This brings us to the greatest line in the film:

MIRANDA: Oh my god! Oh my god! The whole time?! The whole time?! THE WHOLE TIME?! I have to go. We have to leave now. We have to go. I have to leave. We have to leave.

Sally Field as Miranda Hillard in “Mrs Doubtfire” (1993).

By the end of the film, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that Miranda and Stu will continue seeing one another. Thankfully, Miranda and Daniel are able to resolve their differences enough that Miranda gives Daniel the housekeeper/nanny job so that he can see his children every day after school. The children can also see their father, via his “Mrs. Doubtfire” persona, which is a new hit children’s show in the local San Francisco market. It would have been easy for the filmmakers to turn Stu into a villain, make him slimy and gross, only wanting to hook up with Miranda for sex, her money, her business, etc. But the film doesn’t do that, Stu is presented as a stand-up guy, and we as the audience aren’t disappointed that Miranda might find a new father for her children. Both she and Daniel are better off in their new arrangement. And Miranda, who at the beginning of the film expressed how unhappy and angry she was in her marriage to Daniel, and how it made her act and feel, will finally get a chance at happiness. She’s found a man who brings what she needs to the table, and we cannot help but root for her and Stu.

YES!

The “Free For All” Blogathon–“Birds in Film”

When you think of birds in the movies, this image probably comes to mind:

Tippi Hedren in Alfred Hitchock’s “The Birds” (1963). Don’t even get me started on why they chose to run out of the school when the birds started congregating on the jungle gym.  Stay inside! I like to think that the birds attacked the children because they were singing that annoying song.

Alfred Hitchock’s 1963 masterpiece, The Birds, tells the story of Bodega Bay, a small town near San Francisco, California that is dealing with violent and random bird attacks.  Crows are inexplicably attacking people in their homes, in phone booths, outside, anywhere.  The film never explains why the birds are attacking.  Hitchock purposely eschewed the use of music in the film.  The only sounds we hear aside from dialogue and natural sounds from the actions in the film are the sounds of the birds crowing.  Each time the birds appear onscreen, we know that another attack is about to happen.  The film ends with no resolution.  In Bodega Bay, the birds are still out there and are to be feared.

In The Birds, there are two birds featured in the film who are not to be feared–the lovebirds that Rob Taylor wants to purchase from Tippi Hedren (who doesn’t actually work at the bird shop, but is shopping for a cage for her myna bird).  People who own lovebirds typically purchase them in pairs, as a pair of lovebirds will bond for life.  A solitary lovebird who doesn’t have a constant companion will be very sad.  Owners can own just one lovebird, but they should be prepared to spend a lot of time with their bird.  In The Birds, I believe that these lovebirds represent Taylor and Hedren’s characters.

Hedren’s character is a bit of a wild woman who somewhat lives in a gilded cage.  She’s basically a rich socialite with little regard for others.  Due to her behavior and attitude, she’s somewhat trapped by her lifestyle.  The only reason she goes to Bodega Bay initially, is to use the lovebirds as a means to pursue Taylor.  She’s rich and isn’t used to not getting what she wants.  Taylor makes it clear to Hedren in the pet shop that she’s not interested in people of her type.

Lovebirds may represent the antithesis to the other birds in the film.  Birds don’t have to be evil or be killers–they can be sweet, wonderful companions for humans and other birds.  The lovebirds in The Birds demonstrate that maybe humanity and nature can restore harmony soon.

The lovebirds in “The Birds.” I believe these are “rosy-faced lovebirds.”

Aside from the birds in The Birds, there are other ways birds are represented in film:

COMPANIONS

1. Iago the Scarlet Macaw parrot in Aladdin, while an evil bird, he is a wiseacre and says what’s on his mind regardless of whether he’s talking to his master, Jafar, or mocking the Sultan.
2. Kevin in Up is a goofy bird and the comic relief of the film.  Kevin is a made-up tropical bird who helps Carl and Russell make it to Victoria Falls.  Kevin also provides the conflict of the film.  Famed aviator Charles Muntz has been looking for Kevin’s species for years.  Kevin is like many real birds in that when she (yes “she”) feels that someone is a friend, she will be kind and loyal.  However, if she senses someone is a threat, or that person was mean to her, she’ll be hostile and combative.  Also, like real birds, Kevin is very curious and gets into everything.
3. Hedwig in the Harry Potter series is Harry Potter’s loyal owl.  She is a constant companion for Harry through all of his adventures. She would deliver Harry’s mail, but was also a faithful friend. Hedwig also demonstrated how smart and clever birds can be.
4. Zazu in The Lion King.  Zazu is a hornbill who is not only Mufasa’s personal assistant and adviser, but he also takes care of Simba after Mufasa’s tragic death.  Zazu’s allegiance is partially out of duty to the kingdom, but I also feel that he feels a sense of loyalty to the deceased Mufasa.  Zazu also doesn’t want to see Scar in charge.
5. Maleficent’s black crow, who I don’t believe has a name, is as evil as evil gets.  He keeps Maleficent informed on the goings on in the fairies’ cottage and is the first one to inform Maleficent of Princess Aurora’s location when he spies magic coming up through the fairies’ chimney.

Iago from “Aladdin” (1992)

WISDOM

1. Owl in Winnie the Pooh dispenses advise to Winnie the Pooh and the other residents of the Hundred Acre Woods.
2. Scuttle in The Little Mermaid, while definitely not smart like Owl, he lives above the sea and regularly watches and interacts with the humans.  Mermaid Ariel, who desperately wants to live out of the sea meets up with Scuttle, often bringing objects from the ocean floor that she has found.  She asks Scuttle as to what the objects are.  While Scuttle is usually wrong (e.g. telling Ariel that a dinner fork is a “dinglehopper” and is used to comb her hair), he is very kind and tries to keep Ariel informed about what’s going on above the sea.

“Owl” from “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh”  (1977)

SYMBOLISM

1. In The Maltese Falcon (1941) John Huston’s directorial debut and the first film noir, stars Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade.  While investigating the murder of his partner, Miles Archer, Bogart gets involved with a cast of characters who not only have something to do with Archer’s death, but who are searching for the elusive Maltese Falcon statue.  This bejeweled statue has traveled the world and is apparently worth tens of thousands of dollars.  When the statue is finally found, it is determined to be a fake.  The criminals are angry and frustrated, but seek to continue looking for it.  While holding the fake statue, a detective asks Bogart, “Heavy? What is it?” Bogart says, “The, uh, stuff that dreams are made of.”  This faux bird represents the lack of loyalty the criminals displayed to one another during their journey.  A bird, when treated with love and kindness, can be a loyal and generous friend.  They’ll be by your side constantly and will give affection. They’ll also give you their dinner if you don’t pay attention, they want to make sure you eat.  The criminals are so shady in this film, that they don’t deserve to succeed at the end.
2. There is much bird imagery in Psycho.  It is mostly used in the scene between Norman (Anthony Perkins) and Marion (Janet Leigh) in the motel office. The birds in these scenes foreshadow Norman’s psyche and Marion’s eventual fate. Norman has a variety of stuffed birds: everything from the predator hawk to a small songbird.  Norman mentions to Marion Crane (his eventual victim) that one of his hobbies is “stuffing things” i.e. taxidermy.  This foreshadows the fact that he’s been perhaps practicing his taxidermy skills elsewhere, like on his mother’s corpse, for example (granted she is a skeleton, but he’s been preserving her).  The birds are creepy as there are a lot of them. One could argue that the different types of birds are representative of the  characters in the film.  There is an owl and hawk, two predator birds, that are featured prominently on the wall.  Norman’s mother is a predator, her personality has completely consumed Norman’s.  There are also some small songbirds who represent Marion.  These birds would be consumed in no second flat by a predator, just like it doesn’t take long for Marion’s demise at the Bates Motel.  Birds are very fragile, just like Norman Bates’ psyche.  Women are often presented as fragile and delicate, in which a bird could represent Marion.  Norman even tells Marion that she “eats like a bird” as she picks at the bread on her sandwich.  Birds actually eat a lot, a fact which Norman even mentions to Marion.  There is so much going on in this scene that it would probably warrant its own blog entry.
3. Birds can also represent a variety of other themes: freedom, the feeling of being trapped, evil, arrogance, and mischievousness.

Norman Bates’ office in the Bates Motel in “Psycho” (1960)

Other favorite birds of mine:

1. Donald Duck.  Look for him in Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land (1959).  Perhaps the only good math-related movie ever made.
2. Daffy Duck.  His “Duck Amuck” (1953) cartoon is hilarious.
3. Woodstock from Peanuts.  He doesn’t do much except be Snoopy’s companion, but he has his moments.
4. Roadrunner.  He says so much by saying so little “beep beep” which roughly translates to “ha ha” when said to Wile E. Coyote after successfully evading yet another trap. Why does Wile E. Coyote want to eat him so much anyway? I doubt he’s got that much meat on him.
5. Piper from the Pixar short.  This bird is just so cute!

Piper from Piper (2016) Pixar’s short film. Look at his face!

This post was inspired by my bird, Buddy, a yellow-sided green cheek conure:

Buddy the bird, enjoying some mango!